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“Let what go?”
“All that shit that’s got you so hard right now.” I rubbed her back in an attempt of relaxing her. She wouldn’t loosen.
“What? Like the fact that you keep demonstrating your lack of trust forme—you know what? I think I’ve finally got the revelation: you reallydon’twant me.”
I groaned, dropping my head back. She was being ridiculous. “You have no idea how wrong you are. I want you so bad the shit scares me.”
Witherspoon’s eyes blew up and she finally looked me in the face. “You have a horrible way of showing it. We’re out here for your birthday and you rent a whole house twenty minutes away from the resort we planned for you?”
“You assumed all those people who told you a ‘destination birthday’ was a good idea had the money to participate. I told you yesterday, I had to figure out what was most cost-effective.”
“So, you’re covering all of this?”
“Well, you paid for the activities yesterday.”
She rolled her eyes and tried to push me away. “You’re doing it again. Instead of giving a forward answer, you’re using charm to throw me the hell off, Jas.”
Quickly, I pulled her back into my chest where she felt best. “I know. I know. Don’t pull away from me, baby. I’m trying. You’re making me see more and more why Divine told my ass to get into therapy. This shit is hard.”
“What’s so hard about being straight up?”
“The fact that I got mad feelings for your ass,” I gripped her ass cheeks, pulling her body closer, “and I actually care about what you think of me. I want you to feel me, too.”
“How can I ‘feel’ somebody I don’t know?”
“How can I tell you everything and expect you not to run?”
She stared into my eyes, straight up conflicted. Witherspoon wasn’t alone in that state. Being with her conflicted with my plans. My list.
“Yurp!” Witherspoon looked over my shoulder to see who’d made that call. I knew it was one of my people. Harlem pride was loud and distinct. “Yooooooooo!”Jonathan. He appeared in my peripheral, carrying a tray of drinks. He studied our proximity as I held Witherspoon’s ass in my hands, and I was waiting for him to try and look at it. I’d knock his little ass out. It was bad enough she flashed my mans. “This really you, unk?Daaaaaaaamn, and it’s like that?” He gestured my hands then whistled, impressed. “They was right. I guess I was wrong.”
“Wrong about what?” Witherspoon asked.
“Wrong about y’all being just cool. Myron and Ant said Sin been tryna smash. Chels and ‘nem said some shit about ‘platonic relationships matter.’” He twisted his lips. “I said nah. The big homie came home on some weird, calm shit. I ain’t never see you so…So…” He searched for the words. “So damn peaceful and legit, ya heard? Shi-Shi got that flavor. She need a commercial nigga. You ain’t commercial. You feel me?”
Wearing a goofy ass smile, Witherspoon faced me again. “What is he, Jonathan?”
“Too fuckin’ real.” He offered her a drink, pushing the tray topped with alcohol toward her. “The nigga’s fuckin’ real. Take as many as you want. O.G. don’t fuck with it.” Witherspoon took not one, but two shots and returned them to the tray empty before Jonathan started to take off. Then he stopped, face wrinkled. “Yo, I could tell them ‘bout this?”
“What’re you gonna tell them?” I asked.
“Y’all smashin.”
“Nah, man.” That shit ain’t feel right to me. “She’s my friend.” I looked down at Witherspoon as she ran her tongue over her teeth with a closed mouth. “And I’m tryna convince her she’s more, but I’mma give her grace and be patient.”
Witherspoon writhed in my arms, warm breath hitting my bare chest. “I’m so fucking confused.” Then she wrapped her arms around my waist, laying her head against my chest.
“You got it, big homie.” Jonathan finally left us alone. “Ya fuckin’, but respectfully.” He nodded his understanding, taking off down the beach.
I bent down and picked her up, kicking sand in the air. Witherspoon’s scream of shock expanded my chest.
“Where’s your phone?”
“I left it in your room.”
I started walking toward the water and quickly stopped. “Myroo—you were in my room, Witherspoon?”
“Yup! Trying to find out your next secret.” She stuck out her tongue and crossed her eyes.
