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When it was clear Witherspoon was waiting on an answer, I did what I always purposed to do with her.
“Stay with me at my place tonight. I can have you home whenever you say.”
My lungs filled with air and thighs squeezed together. I knew Jas was wrestling with something, but hadn’t expected that. He’d been quiet since we left the winery and I thought it was because I pushed him too hard about his businesses. I didn’t mean to pry, I’m just not used to dealing with men like Jas. He’s so damn mysterious—uncommunicative. And while reticence is good for a criminal in an interrogation room at a police station, it sucked for me. In spite of myself, I really liked this man. He was in my system in a way. Shamefully, I wasn’t ready to dismiss him from my life.
Again…
I swallowed, glancing out of my dark window on the passenger side of his SUV. “I can’t.”
“You said that.” There was no emotion in his voice, but I knew he was asking for an explanation.
I looked his way again. “My period is on.”
For a while, Jas didn’t say anything. I, on the other hand, didn’t know how to feel about disclosing such personal information to a man who wasn’t my boyfriend.
“I—” he tried. “I ‘on’t know what that mean.”
The moment I decided to laugh in response, I recalled his social handicap. “I’m sure you know about women menstruating. Right?” My face contorted.Right?
Seconds later, he murmured, “Yeah.”
“Okay. Yeah. That’s me. I’m bleeding. Doesn’t make for anything romantic.”
“Oh. A’ight.” He replied coolly, nodding.
It read as dejection. Andshit, I didn’t want to reject him, not tonight. Hell, maybe not tomorrow either. I wanted to be with him…physically. Suddenly, I wanted to be consumed by his penetrating energy. Each time we’d been intimate, I enjoyed the facets of Jas that were vulnerableandperfectly-endowed for the sensuous acts. Me. I relished him that way. And now, as we were approaching my exit, I knew I didn’t want to be without him tonight. Parting with Jas wasn’t something I wanted to do. It was hardly eight at night. The day was still upon us.
Twenty minutes later when we pulled into the parking lot at the back of my building, I twisted my neck to look at Jas, too nervous to fully turn and face him. “I can’t stay at your place, but you can come up.”
“You don’t wanna pull up to the crib no more?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t say that. I’m talking about tonight. It’s messy.”
“What?”
“Trying to do anything sexual with me right now.” Jas looked away. “Did you hear me? It really is. I don’t want to gross you out.”Ididn’t want to be grossed out.
His head whipped my way and, with a gaze searing to my core, he husked, “Ain’t nothing about ya body that can gross me out, Witherspoon.”
A gush of anticipation saturated my tampon. I knew the difference. That was not my monthly expelling in a mass glob between my legs. I cried in delirious panic inside.What am I doing?This was inexcusably deplorable.
Yet as Jas and I trucked into the building after parking his truck, I couldn’t think of anything but his taut, hairy skin against mine. As he peered up at the numbers over the elevator while we ascended, his sedated demeanor did nothing to kick in my consciousness and better judgment. My heart raced faster and faster each step to my apartment door. Relief flooded when Ines was nowhere in sight as we crept into my bedroom. I closed the door behind him before removing my coat.
“I would offer you a drink, but…” I received his jacket and tossed it, too, over my chaise lounge. After powering on the stereo and adjusting the volume, I found Jas, peering over the art on my wall. “I’m going to get the shower started and brush my teeth. Meet me in there in a few minutes?”
With his chin low, but eyes blazing my body, Jas nodded. I toed out of my shoes before heading to the bathroom. I left the door ajar as I stripped, pee’d, and washed up over the sink. In no time, I was finishing brushing my teeth, rinsing my mouth when a wind from the door being pushed fully open cut through the steam that had quickly accumulated from the hot shower.
“Should I brush my teeth, too?” his tenor thick behind me.
I turned to him with a smile burning my face. “You don’t have to. I’ve had a cigar. If you indulged, I wouldn’t be so self-conscious about smokers’ breath.” Then I thought, “You have condoms?”
I saw the revelation shoot through Jas’ mind like a burning star, lighting his eyes. “Shit.I—”
“Out of practice.” I understood. “I don’t have any either. Now,” I exhaled. “comes the conversation only appropriate for people in long term, exclusive relationships.” Once again, and bizarrely, I didn’t apply the rules to Jas. I sidestepped, adjusting to his lack of life experience. Most of all, I trusted him. Turning off the water and dropping my toothbrush in its holder, I turned to him, as naked as I was on my birthday. “How do you feel about unprotected sex? Have you had sex with anyone since Saturday?”
Two things happened. Jas’ face contorted and I caught the bulge in his boxers from my peripheral. It was hard to apply formality when so soon his body had become a weakness for me.
“Witherspoon,” His head cocked to the side. “you really asking me that question?”
