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“My alma mater doesn’t produce apprentices of that kind. And what’s your title now? Personal, dick-sucking assistant?”
“Whoa!” Man appeared, his hand in the air. “The fuck’s going on?”
I pasted my palm on one hip. “Oh, there you are! Who’s idea was it to have Ms. Dallas here the same night as me?”
Man’s palms pushed into the air. “Both y’all wanted to come. What you saying, Shi?”
“What I’m saying is stop mixing us as though we’re the same! I don’t know her and don’t want to be in the same circle as her. Whatever Jas has going on with her is their business,but damn! How long am I expected to be forced into this fake ass community with her as though I don’t get to choose who’s inmylife?”
“Yo, Shi-Shi,” Man’s tone, stance, and dialect was Harlem for sure. “That’s between you and that man. I ‘on’t see why you trippin’!”
“Because I’m tired ofnottripping! Show some respect, and don’t mix us ever again.” Shizu neared me, rubbing my back and gently asking me to calm down. “I’m tired of being calm. Tired of being tired while this manipulative, unambitious, no-life-having, sneaky link has privy to my world!” Then I looked Ava dead in the eyes. “You can fuckhimand not fuckwithme.” I leaned into her with my ear. “Or does he not want you?”
“Shi-Shi!” Corinne barked.
“No. It’s okay,” Ava finally thought to speak, shaking her head while bouncing her palm against the air. “You’re absolutely right, Shi-Shi. This has gotten out of control. I’ve been nothing but nice and attempted to be resourceful to you since the day we met. You’ve been cold, nasty, and insecure.” A few people wheezed. “I’ve taken your cruelty over the past four years, understanding one silver lining: you’re an example of what not to be.”
“And what am I?”
“Blind. You have a woman’s fantasy: the world at your beck and call. One request, and you can be on a jet toSaint Justinwithin an hour. You need accommodations for your next girls’ trip to celebrate a birthday, just pack a bag and build your itinerary. You’ve got last-minute plans, and childcare is a hindrance, all you have to do is send a text, and you’ll be free to go within thirty minutes. If you’re lonely and tired of playing super-achiever, a text can get you the company you crave all night—or weekend if you play nice.” Fuck! She was referring to me sleeping with Jas over the years since having Chi-Chi. How did she know about our sex life—when it existed? That shit braised my skin. “You want a man to support you and spend everything at his disposal on keeping you happy and safe?” She shrugged with a lascivious grin. “All you’ve got to do is open your eyes.”
What?
I could feel the muscles in my face contorting.
“Okay. I get you don’t like seeing another woman with so much access to your ex-boyfriend. But, Shi-Shi, let’s make one thing clear: I don’t want a man who is so far up another woman’s ass that she can’t find him because she can’t see or feel him. Where would that leave me?Thatis the silver lining.Thatis what you’ve taught me. Always appreciate what you have at your disposal and stop traveling the globe searching for goods you already own.”
Then her face dropped, and Ava paid her companions a cursory glance. “Let’s go. Maybe when he hits theGardenorHotep,we’ll get the privilege others here can’t recognize.” Her eyes rolled to me. “Am I attracted to Sinclair?” She shrugged so casually. “Perhaps when I met him. He’s a handsome, rugged, kind, filthy rich, spiritual, and brilliant brother. But once I saw where his heart was, which didn’t take long at all, my attraction waned. I’m not desperate. And no; I’ve never touched him, and he’s never laid a single hand on me. It’s pretty gross considering his devotion to another woman and one who’s so indifferent to him.” Ava visibly cringed and then took off, followed by her friends.
By this time, I was speechless and stunned. The narrow hallway had filled to its capacity, with even more people having populated since I’d left the ladies’ room.
“Everything good here,” a deep subterranean timber sounded. It was louder within seconds and Ragee’s burly frame appeared. “You good, Shi-Shi?” His eyes were wild, body defensively postured with his chest hiked and face screwed mostly with concern.
I should have been thrilled Raj recognized me right away and in front of my friends. Maybe I should have been embarrassed, but I was too angry to be. I felt crazy and out of control, but not insane. This was what it took for me to finally voice my truth after all the years of her lurking the parameters of my world via emails, texts, calls, meetings, personal parties—my life!
I took a deep, calming breath, realizing how much of a show I’d caused. My eyes closed tightly, then rolled beneath my lids. “I’m sorry, Raj. I really am.”
“Nah. It’s all good.” He tried, towel still in hand for his sweaty frame. “I ain’t even know you were here. What’s good?”
I shook my head. “My people wanted to meet you. We’re celebrating a birthday,” my energy audibly depleted at this point.
“Oh, word?” Raj gazed around, referencing my crew. “Let’s take some flicks and get some merch to the birthday celebrant. Come on.” He rounded me for his room.
Cecil squealed then his big, grizzly ass leaped in the air, swinging his feet toward his ass. “I thought I was gonna have to fuck her up then do you next, bitch,” he grumbled before following the small line into the room.
“Can you go keep an eye on him?” I asked Corinne, not in the mood to fake pleasantry.
“You sure? I don’t want to leave you like this.” Her hand was on my back.
I nodded, fingering my edges, avoiding my face because of the makeup. “I’m done showing my ass. But he’s about to start.”
“I got her,” Shizu assured. “Go get that boy before we all get kicked out.”
Corinne took off, and I realized Man was still there. I rolled my eyes at him. Yes, I was mad at him, but I understood his position. It still stung, though.
“Like I said, Shi-Shi: you gotta take that up with Sin.” His voice, cadence, and dialect sounded much like his friend’s, reminding me that they were not for the feminine dramatics.
It didn’t matter no ways.
