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“That’s what I’ve been asking him!” Kelly-Ann wobbled into the room, out of breath, with his wallet in her hand. She must have come up from the basement after getting it. Only Kelly-Ann was allowed down there. God only knew what Kelvin had going on in the basement. I, for sure, didn’t want to know. “He don’t wanna say nothing. Only yelling for me to call you!”
“Mama!” Kelvin shrieked, eyes closed with passion. “Shut the hell up!”
“Hey!” one of the officers warned him.
Ignoring them, Kelvin stood, now with his sneakers on. His dark glare on me again. “Be a real wife, for once. Use that degree I paid for! Get me a fucking lawyer that works!”
The wind left my chest. It wasn’t because I couldn’t take his toxic words or energy. I’d been hit with far more viciousness than this from my husband. It wasn’t because I was embarrassed about the six officers witnessing my husband’s vitriol. Kelvin carried no integrity therefore, I couldn’t expect him to demonstrate dignity for me. No. I was astounded by his lack of self-awareness. The absence of accountability.
“Kelvin, what happened to my necklace? The one with my initial in diamonds?”
His head flew back. “I’m ‘bout to go to jail, and this bitch asking about jewelry? Oh, my fucking god!”
“What happened to my necklace, Kelvin?” I demanded this time.
“What necklace?” he yelled back.
I liked nice things. Every once in a while, I’d treat myself to more than a manicure, getting my hair done, and being waxed. I liked diamond pieces, aLouis Vuittonbag once every few years, and perhaps someAsè Garbpieces. I worked hard and should be able to reward myself every now and then. The only problem was I lived with an addict, who, over the years, would steal the breast from a baby’s mouth to sell the milk. Kelvin had stolen jewelry I’d received from my grandmother. He’d taken two birthstone pieces my father had purchased for me when I was a child. My husband had taken my entire wallet once, and attempted it for a second time, but I caught him red-handed in my bedroom one night when he thought he would creep inside while I was sleeping.
We slept with locked bedroom doors in my house. It was a sad fact. Once I understood his addiction for what it was, I purchased a safety deposit box at my bank. It was something Kelvin would not have access to under any circumstances just as it was with my bank accounts. I struggled for days wondering why, after returning from Jersey with theAndretta’s neckpiece, did I not take it over to the safety deposit box. I’d been beating myself up over it for days since I found out. But in this moment, it hit me.
I wanted to have a piece of Tobias with me in my real life. I wanted something connected to him with me at home. I looked at that necklace night after night when Tobias wouldn’t call me all those days. I went looking for it two days ago—tore my room apart—before succumbing to my reality.
That reality was standing in front of me, about to be escorted out by Raleigh’s finest.
“I’m done,” I told him with spread nostrils and upturned lips. I meant the shit from the pit of my belly.
“Fuck you!” he spit back as they walked him to the door.
I turned in their direction, and spoke even louder, “I’m filing for a divorce. Don’t come back here. I don’t give a damn what the judge says he wants to do with you. I will have your things sent anywhere in the country you want, but it’s all leaving here just like you are!”
“Fuck you, you ugly, hood-rat bitch!” Kelvin channeled the African blood swimming in his veins.
Now,thatshit turned my stomach.
I tapped the last of my blunt into the ashtray. Before leaving the tiny balcony off of my master bedroom, I tugged on the strap of my trench coat then carried the roach inside. I locked the door behind me, and on my way to the bathroom, there was a knock on the door.
“I’m going to bed.”Shit. “You okay in there?” It was Scott.
High out of my mind, I didn’t want him anywhere near me in this state. “You should have been sleep,” I hissed.
“It’s almost midnight. So should you!” he nipped right back at me. “Goodnight.” I heard him take off.
Now, I was numb to the disappointment I’d normally feel about a thirteen-year-old having to tend to my emotions. Scott wasn’t here when his uncle was hauled off by police earlier, but he’d heard about it. His friends from the neighborhood texted him. Kelly-Ann filled Scott in once he was dropped off, too. Once again, I was doused by embarrassment, courtesy of Kelvin Richardson. I hated this life for Scott.
Just as I’d flushed the roach down the toilet, my phone chirped. I didn’t jump to check it. I knew who it was. Instead, I moved slowly to the sink to wash my hands, then to the bathtub to turn on the faucet and run a warm bath.Yup. A fat blunt, hot soak, and a bag of white cheddarCheez-Its were all I needed tonight. Sauntering back into my bedroom to grab a few things, all I could think about was how I wanted to ensconce myself to lick my wounds.
When I toed into the bathroom again, my phone sounded…again. Ignoring it, I caught my image in a long mirror, hanging on an adjacent wall. Bruises. His hand marks were still there, on my cheeks and beneath them. They weren’t as red as they were last night when I’d gotten home. They were darkening into a burgundy hue now. The sight of them made my clit throb and nipples tighten into pebbles.
After stepping into the heated water, I took my time picking up my phone. Sighing, I brought it up to my tight eyes, over the water. I noticed more recipients than anticipated. There was a missed call and text from Mya. She said she was checking in. I guessed she was attempting to keep her word of doing a better job at keeping in touch. Right now wasn’t a good time for me to respond, so I kept scrolling.
Yup. This one I had anticipated. Tobias, my manstress, was in town, and summonsing me to his den of sin where he did all types of nasty shit to me that I liked too much. And he knew I liked it; and would let him do over and over and over. I’d never known this skilled lover side of Tobias. Ten years ago, it was just…quick, sneaky sex a few times. This. This was sensual sorcery. Pure mind fuck. And I didn’t need my brain compromised at this juncture of my life. I meant what I said to Kelvin. I was done.
Being done meant planning my next move. I’d already begun fielding jobs in Jersey. Earlier today, after Kelvin’s apprehension, I did a deep dive into an apartment search in New Jersey by way of the popular listing websites. The shit was depressing, reminding me how damn expensive the New York Tri-State area was for no reason. That further dampened my mood, so I gave up. It was Saturday, but I still sent my lawyer an email, explaining what happened today, and asked about any insight she could provide to expedite the separation process. When she surprisingly returned my text within minutes, her news sent me into further despair.
I couldn’t kick Kelvin out, although this home was in my name only and had been paid for by me exclusively. Kelvin was my husband and, in fact, a resident here. She advised me to be ready to move if he, predictably, said he wouldn’t. That, of course, couldn’t happen until January when Terry would be released from prison. And as simple as it may sound, dumping the kid on his mother the minute she’s released from prison didn’t sit right with me. Ideally, I’d like to provide a gradual re-introduction. The fact of the matter was, Terry would be discharged to her mother’s home in Knightdale where other members of her family lived, too. Scott was well acquainted with that family. I’d made sure of it. So, while moving him in there wouldn’t be too much of a culture change, Scott living with his mother would be a huge adjustment for him.
And I’d be over four hundred miles away, unable to get to him should shit go awry…
