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Hesitant, Gabe reached out. This time when he touched Oliver’s neck, the other man crumbled. “I don’t know what it could be,” Oliver said through a chattering jaw, “but I can count the number of times he’s come to see me on one hand. So…so something must be wrong.”
“Or maybe,” Gabe said carefully, holding Oliver tight, “he’s just decided it’s time to see his children. Don’t jump to conclusions before you know. You’ll only hurt yourself.” Gabe touched his cheek lightly. “I love you, Ollie. Go take a quick shower, get dressed, then get in the car and go see what it’s about.”
Oliver swallowed, then nodded and pulled himself away. He wanted to kiss Gabe hard, to drag him to the bedroom and make love to him slowly because right now, he was craving intimate contact. But he couldn’t let himself fall apart. He couldn’t let himself be weak. Not now.
Dragging himself down the hall, he slipped into the bathroom and turned on the shower as hot as he could stand it. Stepping under the stream, he was only half aware as he lathered his hair, using a handful of soap to wash away sand and sea. He finished quickly and grabbed a towel, scrubbing the stray drops of water from his skin as he went to Gabe’s room.
Gabe was there, sitting on the bed up against the headboard, regarding Oliver with some caution. Neither of them said anything as Oliver began to rummage through the things he had there, growling after a moment when he realized all he had were casual jeans and shirts.
“Fuck. I don’t…he can’t…” He shoved his hands into his hair and tugged. “Fuck.”
“What’s the matter? He can’t what?” Gabe pressed.
Scrubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms, Oliver let out a slow breath. “All I have are jeans. I need something proper.”
“He won’t mind. It’s an impromptu visit and you’re in college, Ollie. If he expects you to be dressed formally on a Saturday afternoon…”
Oliver let out a high, tense laugh. “I don’t know what he expects. I haven’t seen the bastard in two years. The last time I saw him, he flew into for four hours, took me and Leo to a lunch, and was gone. I don’t know…I don’t…”
Gabe shuffled from the bed to the floor, then went through Oliver’s things to pull out his nicest jeans, and a black, collared shirt. “This will do. You’ll be alright.”
With trembling fingers, Oliver took the clothes from his boyfriend and slipped them on. Forcing himself through a few, calming breaths, he took a comb to his hair, ordering it as neatly as he could, and refused to look in the mirror.
“You want me to go with you?” Gabe offered as Oliver sat to tug on his socks.
Looking up at Gabe, Oliver shook his head. “Probably not a good idea. I mean…he knows what I am. He bloody well knows I’m a queer and a degenerate, my mum made sure of that. But I’d rather not…I mean it’s best if I…” He was frustrated with his inability to finish a single sentence.
“Alright. Just text me when you can. And you can come back here when it’s over.”
Oliver allowed Gabe to draw him into a soft embrace, pressing a kiss to Oliver’s temple. “I know,” Oliver whispered. “I’ll keep you posted when I can. I promise.”
Gabe drew away, then stood back as Oliver toed on his shoes, gathered his keys and phone, and together they walked to the door. It was like peeling a bandage stuck to stubborn hair, letting Gabe go, but Oliver forced himself to do it. Gabe was right. It could easily be nothing. It could be nothing more than his father deciding to have lunch again.
It could be some distant relative had passed.
It could be anything.
Pulling Gabe in for a quick kiss, he muttered, “I love you,” before turning away and heading to the street. Leo was waiting, Leo was counting on him and for the first time, he was ready to be an adult.
Ten
The drive back to his house was simultaneously the longest and shortest drive he’d ever made. He pulled into his usual spot, turning off the engine, and pocketed his keys. A sleek, black car was parked along the curb, up the street from the house, and Oliver had to assume that was his dad.
His back was aching from the tension, and he fought the very real urge to just jump back in the car and go, leaving every memory of his family behind. But he couldn’t just leave Leo on his own. Not like that.
Taking a breath, he straightened his shoulders and did his best not to slip into the exhausted, shattered man he’d been the last time he’d seen his father face-to-face. He’d come too far to give back into that fear.
The click of his shoes on the pavement was almost deafening as he approached the door. He pushed his palm against the chilly wood and paused. He was his own man now. He was brave. He wouldn’t let anything destroy this.
Curling his fingers around the knob, he conjured the image of Gabe’s smile in his mind to remind himself of what he had to go back to, then pushed it open. Soft voices met his ears, and he breathed. No one was shouting, no one was crying. He slipped his shoes off next to a few pairs near the door and padded around the corner into the living room.
Seeing his dad was always a little bit of a shock. Both Oliver and Leo had grown up with only one parent, one they didn’t resemble at all. Any family they’d ever seen had been on the English side, so they always felt like the odd ones out. They were the spitting image of him, really, aside from a sharper edge to their jaws and Oliver’s lighter hair. But their heritage had always been obvious, and they’d only had each other to relate to.
His dad was in a suit and tie, his hair much shorter than either of the siblings wore theirs, but it was their face on that man. Ren Sasaki smiled at his eldest son in person for the first time in ten years. Rising, he gave Oliver a short nod, which Oliver returned without really thinking.
Leo was sitting in the armchair, calm but incredibly tense, and he looked at Oliver with a small grimace.
“Sorry it took me so long to get here,” Oliver said swiftly.
