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“Shiloh…”
“I do. So fucking much. I’ve been an idiot for so long, and Sarah kind of slapped some sense into me today. I knew it was time.”
“What was time?” Dom asked, his voice barely a whisper. “What are you saying?” He needed to know because this was hardly the first time he’d seenI Love Youwritten in the middle of a paper swan, but it was the first time those words had made him feel like this.
“If I begged you,” Shiloh said, his voice a little stronger than the moment before, “would you forgive me?”
Dom pulled back in surprise. That was not what he was expecting to hear. “For what?”
“Being a fool,” Shiloh said. “For believing that you could never…” He trailed off looking away, and Dom wanted to shake him, to beg him to go on. He was scared if he did, the moment would be ruined forever. “I thought you were being kind.”
Unable to stop himself, knowing that if he didn’t reach out, his chance would be lost, he took Shiloh by the chin and turned his head back so their gazes could meet. “Kind about what?”
“Everyone’s always whispering about how much you fancy me. I…I’m not thick, you know?” He let out a small, self-deprecating laugh. “I might have never been with anyone before, but I know what flirting is. I know what you’re like…” He trailed off again, shrugging. “Sarah told me she’s been trying to set you up because she’s always known that we love each other, but she was tired of watching me torment you with what you could never have.”
“Shiloh,” Dom said, his heart aching because shittinghell, he hadn’t realized. How had he never realized? “Are you saying this entire time, you’ve been in love with me?”
“We’re both so thick,” Shiloh said with a broken laugh. His hands came up, curling into the fur bit of the costume like he was afraid to let go. “I couldn’t bring myself to have faith that we could make this work, that you’d be interested in some anxious, sorry, pathetic mess like me. I didn’t want you to try to love me, realize you couldn’t, and then resent me for it.”
“Bloody fucking hell. I would never. Christ, Shiloh, I have been in love with you almost all my life.”
“I know,” Shiloh said on the edge of a small sob. “So have I.”
Dom couldn’t stop the small, helpless laugh from bubbling up and out of his throat. God, the love of his life was just as big of a fool as he was. “You’re serious? You’re actually serious?”
Shiloh just nodded. “My dad’s about ready to strangle me because I refused to believe him when he said you were in love with me. He’s been listening to me moan about how I’m going to have to watch you get married and have…I dunno, babies or dogs or ferrets or something. And I’ll happily take being the fun uncle because I will love you for the rest of my life, but…”
Dom groaned, every quiet feeling he’d been hoarding rushing through him. He backed Shiloh up against the bed with both hands now on his waist, and he looked down at him, knowing heat was in his eyes. “Did you decide to wear this tonight for me?”
Shiloh’s swallow caught in his throat. “Yes…and no. When I saw it in the shop, I thought of you. And then I thought of how you might look at me if I was wearing it, and I…well. You’re the only person I ever want looking at me that way.”
“And?” Dom asked, daring a look into Shiloh’s eyes. “Have I disappointed you?”
Shiloh looked up through his darkened lashes. “I don’t actually think that’s possible.”
Dom groaned and leaned in, not kissing him yet, but sharing breath. “You’re the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my entire life. I don’t even know what to do with myself right now.”
Shiloh licked his lips, then shook his head and very slowly wrapped his arms around Dom’s waist. “I’m still afraid.”
“Of me?”
“Of tomorrow,” Shiloh admitted. “Of putting all this back on the shelf and going back to being myself. Dressing in my boring clothes and going back to my mundane life and not being brave for you all the time.”
Dom squeezed his eyes shut, wondering how he hadn’t managed to convey to this man that he was in love with every single atom of his body, mundane or not. Not just him in a dress, or being brave, or taking risks.
“Sorry,” Shiloh said into the silence between them.
“I’m the one who owes you an apology,” he said in a rush. When Shiloh’s mouth opened to argue, he pressed his finger to his lips. It took him a moment to get over just how soft Shiloh’s mouth was against his skin, but he had to get this out. “I have been in love with you since I was eleven years old. Since you smiled at me and asked if I wanted to be your friend. And it’s only getting worse as the years go on.”
Shiloh blinked, then gently pulled his face away to speak. “I know why I never said anything, but why didn’t you? You’ve always been the brave one, Dom?”
Dom groaned and leaned forward, burying his face in Shiloh’s neck.Fuck, he smelled so good—so earthy and perfect and…him. “Because I’m not brave when it comes to you. I know I’m not thick, but I’m not a scholar. I’m not going to go do big things, but you will. And if I locked you down here with me, I’d only hold you back.”
Shiloh laughed quietly. “I’m aprimary school teacher, you daft twat.”
Dom pulled back, shaking his head. “You don’t have to be. You should have done your doctorate and taught classes in fancy lecture halls at prestigious American universities. And I know you stayed because your dad needs help. I get that. But there’s still time for you to do more when your dad retires. But I can’t…I’m never going to be able to measure up to all that. This small life is all I’m good for.”
There was hurt in Shiloh’s eyes, and Dom hated himself a little for being so blunt, but it was time.
