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A lump forms in my throat.Replace me?
My hands perform smooth, long strokes as I finish up. It’s a miracle that I’ve gotten this far.
“Can you work on my latissimus dorsi?”
“Big words for the Valedictorian, class of one.” I laugh, unable to stop it from coming out of my mouth. I can only repress my sarcastic self for so long.
I hold my breath and hope I’m dreaming, but he raises his shoulders off the table, breathing deeply. Of all the freaking times for me to be a smart ass. So, I do the only thing I can—finish the massage if he’ll let me.
“Let me finish. Let me get you on the field tonight.”
“It’s the least you could do,” he mumbles as he lays back down.
A few minutes later, I ask, “How does that feel? Better?”
He does a push up on the table so he can get up. “Where’s Karla?”
“Outside.”
He secures the sheet around him like I’ve never ridden him. “You wormed your way in here. Say what you need to say and leave.” His eyes look past me, not at me. His hands are clasped together at his thighs. So, judging by his body language, I know he’s not falling back in love with me.
I lean against the counter. “I’m sorry for being young and stupid, but I never lied to you. Not even a lie of omission.” He shakes his head, looking at his hands. “Colin was my high school boyfriend for about three months. After graduation, a group of us went to Vegas to celebrate. We got drunk and evidently got married.”
He scoffs, continuing to shake his head.
“He started calling me a while back, but we were just beginning so I never called him back. He had found out because he was going through a background check in the military for a security clearance. When I didn’t call him back, he figured he would deal with it when he got out of the special school he was attending.”
He raises his head, and our eyes finally meet. “Do you expect me to believe this? You just said yourself, Valedictorian.” I catch a sliver of a smile. A crack is all I need to keep believing we can work this out.
“Neither of us knew. There were no flashbacks like inThe Hangover. Just drunk and actually hungover. We broke up three weeks later.”
I hand him the documents that Archer’s family called in all kinds of favors for in order to get them in hand this quickly.
He reads them, and then slaps them twice against his hand. “Annulment papers? Is this supposed to make it better?”
“We were never married, Tackett. Not in any way that matters,” I manage to squeak out.
He quiets, and I hope he’s considering my point of view. He brings his hands up to cover his face before scratching the growth of what is now, more than scruff. “I have one question, Tay.”
He called me Tay…that’s a good sign.
“Did you have sex with him? Did you consummate your relationship?”
“That night?”
“Any night, but specifically any time after you were married in the fucking Get Lucky Vegas Chapel.”
“Fix you” by Coldplay plays in the background, and the painful melody mocks my emotions.
Tears stream down my face because of course I had sex with Colin. Lots of times before and after Vegas. “Yes, but these papers say I was never married. Back then, I sought out the attention of boys. I wasn’t a slut, but I slept with the boys I dated. I know I had it better than Megan. Yes, I had a roof over my head, food to eat, but they were fostering for the wrong reasons. Hell, I think they were happy when I told them I didn’t want to be adopted.”
I pause. “My foster parents were freaking swingers. They didn’t care how late I stayed out. They didn’t check to see if I was home. They found out if I came downstairs for breakfast. I didn’t have what you had.”
“You have no idea what it was like for me. Damn. My parents had a fake relationship, kind of like ours. None of it based on truth.”
“F. U. Towles. Everybody can’t be a goody two shoes like you.”
His eyes burn red. His jaw tightens, and through gritted teeth he says, “While you were sucking dick, mine was getting sucked. I never claimed to be innocent. You can make me out to be the poor virgin, but I was a virgin by choice, and I didn’t need you to swoop in and save me. I gave it to you because in that moment, I wanted it. It’s okay to say no once in a while. Try it.”
