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Laiken pulls into the driveway and I stand up, tossing my cigarette I’ve been too zoned out to smoke and walking toward her car. The minute she steps out, I pull her into my arms and hold her tightly.
“Hey,” she coos.
I wonder if she knows how much even the sound of her voice manages to relax me. The moment I walked out the front door, my phone was pressed to my ear. I told Laiken that I needed her, and that was it. Nothing else mattered. She just got in her car and got her ass to my house.
I mentally add that to the endless list of reasons why I will love her for the rest of my life.
She waits patiently, hugging me back and waiting for me to initiate letting go. When I finally do, she looks at me worriedly.
“What’s going on?” she asks.
Nodding toward my truck, she follows me as I walk over and put down the tailgate. The two of us sit and she waits patiently for me to fill her in, until the silence becomes a little too much to bear.
“Hayes, you’re scaring me a little here,” she tells me.
I swallow down the lump in my throat, finally allowing myself to say the words out loud. “My, uh…my dad died.”
She gasps. “Oh my God. H.”
My defense mechanisms kick in and I shake my head, metaphorically waving it off. “No, it’s fine. I mean, it’s not fine, but the past six years have been like he was dead anyway, so it’s not this massive change.”
Her hand rests gently on my arm. “Yeah, but just because he wasn’t around doesn’t mean you can’t be upset about it.”
“That’s the thing though. I’m notupset,” I admit, hearing how heartless it makes me sound. “I’m just angry. While Devin and I were growing up and Mom was working her ass off to provide for us, he was out there somewhere, drinking his life away—not even trying to get his life back together. He was completely content being the same worthless lowlife that walked out on his family. And now we find out he left Devin and me an inheritance, as if money makes up for the past six years.”
Pulling the folded-up piece of paper out of my pocket, I hand it to her. She carefully opens it, and her eyes widen when she sees the number.
“Wow. How does a drunk even get that much money?”
“At the casino, because while you gamble, you drink for free.” I crumple it up and toss it into the bed of the truck behind me. “I don’t know. I think I’ll just let Dev have my share. He gets no comfort in hell from knowing that he did anything to help me.”
She looks over at me with nothing but warmth and fondness in her eyes. “If that’s what you want to do, I fully support you. There’s no right or wrong way to heal from all the trauma he caused you and your sister. But technically, that money isn’t coming fromhim. He didn’t write a will or decide to give it to you out of the goodness of his heart. The money is coming from a bunch of people in an office whose only job is to figure out where shit goes when someone passes away.”
I know she has a point, but it does nothing to relieve the heaviness in my chest. “It still feels dirty. Like I’m letting him buy my forgiveness from beyond the grave or something.”
“No one is expecting you to forgive him, babe. Or even asking you to,” she says calmly. “I don’t think anyone who knows what you’ve been through ever would. That is something only you could decide to do. But let me ask you something.”
“What?”
“What would you do if your dad hadn’t left?”
My brows raise. “Well, I would’ve had a lot less commitment issues.”
She chuckles, bumping her shoulder into mine. “I mean with the money.”
For the first time since my mom broke the news, I let myself think about it, but it doesn’t take long.
“I’d use the money to buy a bar,” I answer.
“Then personally, I think you should do that.” She hops off the truck and stands in front of me, slotting herself between my legs and staring into my eyes. “He’s stolen enough of your joy. This is your chance to take some back.”
My gaze stays fixated on her, and I don’t think there’s ever going to be a time where I’m not in awe of everything she is. She’s so calm, so caring, that sometimes all I can do is admire her.
“You know, it’s a little infuriating how you always tell me what I need to hear,” I quip.
She smiles, giggling softly. “You’ll get over it.”
I wrap my arms around her shoulders and pull her in. She sighs against me as I press a kiss to the top of her head. If there’s ever a time when this girl is all I have, I’ll be okay, because she’s all I will ever need.
