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My head falls forward. “I haven’t been paying the bills.”
“No shit, you haven’t!” He throws the few papers in his hands onto the floor. “What the fuck is wrong with you? I know this was your idea, but this isn’t justyourfucking bar! This is my goddamn livelihood!”
“What’s going on?” Mali asks.
Cam huffs and rolls his eyes. “Of course, you’re coming to save him. Unbelievable.”
If anyone isn’t afraid to talk back to Cam, it’s her. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“It means he’s ruining his life, and you’re fucking letting him do it!” Cam roars then focuses his attention on me. “I know you’re heartbroken over my sister, but it’s been almost two years! Move the fuck on!”
Okay, fuck this. “This isn’t about Laiken, asshole!”
“Oh, bullshit it’s not! Why else wouldn’t you be paying the bills? Is it drugs? Do I need to take you to rehab? Christ, it’s bad enough you’re drinking half the goddamn beer in this place. Now I have to worry about you tanking the entire fucking bar, too?”
“Cam!” Mali shouts, but it’s too late to get him under control.
“Screw you,” I sneer. “I’m not going to sit here and listen to you berate me like you’re so much better than I am.”
I turn around and head for the stairs, needing to get the fuck out of here, while Cam shouts behind me. “Like husband, like wife, right? Running when shit gets tough!”
Mali yells at him again, but I can’t hear what she says as I book it down the stairs and out the door. Getting around the corner, I see my bike sitting right next to my truck and well, fuck it. If I’m going to sell this thing, I may as well get one last ride out of it.
Throwing my helmet on, I buckle it and listen to the bike roar to life. I back it up and turn to leave the parking lot just as Mali comes running outside. I’m sure she’s screaming for me to stop, but there’s nothing she could say that will keep me here right now.
The exhaust rumbles as I turn onto the street and open her up. There’s a chill to the wind as it blows against my sweatshirt, but it feels good. It feels like something. Something that isn’t numbness but isn’t pain either. And I’m living for it.
I don’t know where I went wrong. There was a time I had it all. Everything I wanted was right in front of me, and I thought my everything wanted me too. Maybe I misread the look in her eyes or the honesty in her voice as she told me she loved me. Hell, I could’ve imagined the whole damn thing for all I know. But the moment she left, my entire life fell apart. It’s like she was the glue holding it all together, and now karma is making me pay for all my wrongdoings, ten-fold.
Two years ago, I had it all, and now, the only thing I can do is stand by and watch as it’s all getting ripped away from me.
The engine gets louder as I speed down the road, watching the beach pass me by, and I’m lost in a time where I felt like I could take on the world. For her, I would have. I wish I could go back and freeze time. I’d rewind to our wedding night and live it over and over again, because that’s when we were the happiest.
When cancer wasn’t slowly killing my mom.
When Laiken was in my arms.
When I was high on life and watching my dreams come true.
And now there’s just…whatever the fuck this is.
I speed up a little faster, and a couple on the sidewalk catches my attention. His arms are wrapped around her, and she throws her head back, laughing like being in love is the greatest thing in the world. Little do they know that feeling is a falsehood. Just a bunch of chemicals in your brain meant to trick you into thinking it’s going to last forever.
It's going to ruin them the same way it ruined me.
I turn to focus on the road again, but it’s too late. The red light is too close, and even as I slam on the brakes and the bike skids when I lose control, it doesn’t help. The bike slides out from under me and I skid across the ground before the bike and I both crash directly into the SUV in the middle of their left turn.
And the pain doesn’t even register before everything goes black.
Panic.Chaos. Everything is a blur as I press the gas pedal into the floor. The phone call I got an hour ago was my worst nightmare come to life. All of the words run through my mind on a loop.
Motorcycle accident.
Possible broken ribs.
Possible swelling in his brain.
Too soon to tell.
