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“You didn’t see the way he looked at me. It was like I was the worst thing that ever happened to him.”
I pull away to wipe the tears from my face with the sleeves of my sweatshirt, and Mali frowns, feeling my pain the same way she always has.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you. I just didn’t know what else to do,” she tells me.
I shake my head. “No. You did the right thing. I needed to know, because if he wasn’t so lucky…”
My mouth can’t even say the words. Losing Hayes the way I have is hard, but if I knew he wasn’t out there somewhere, existing and rubbing how unfairly good-looking he is in everyone’s faces—well, that’s not a world I want to live in.
“I know,” she says in understanding. “Do you think he knows?”
Mali sits on my bed with me after what was probably the most intense argument Hayes and I have ever had.
“Let me ask you this,” she murmurs. “Say Hayesdidkill Monty intentionally…do you think he was in the wrong?”
It only takes a moment for me to answer. “No one deserves to die, especially the way he did. But I don’t miss him, now that I know who he was.”
She purses her lips. “That’s understandable. Honestly, I’ve felt the same way the past few weeks. It’s not that I would ever wish death on anyone, but I feel like I don’t even know him anymore, so how can I grieve someone I never really knew?”
“Exactly.”
I wipe away a stray tear as I think about the envelope that was left under my seat. My ultimatum of sorts. I can either walk away—leave everything I’ve ever known and loved behind—or I can stay and watch as Hayes’s life gets ripped apart in front of a judge and jury.
How am I supposed to do nothing when he could end up spending the rest of his life in prison? And for an incident I practically caused, no less. If I hadn’t been stupid enough to leave Hayes with Monty when I knew how much he hated him, chances are we wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.
He would do anything for me. I know that. But I can’t let my shitty decision ruin the rest of his life. If anyone has to suffer, it should be me.
I take a deep breath and open the bottom of my nightstand, pulling out the envelope before looking at Mali pleadingly.
“Mal, I need a favor…and you’re not going to like it.”
“No. I told him the hospital called me, being his wife and all.”
“Oh, that’s smart.” The relief is evident in her voice. “I can’t even imagine what he would do if he found out I’ve known where you’ve been this whole time. Or worse, if Cam found out.”
Honestly, I don’t want to know.“They won’t. Trust me. I can never repay you for everything you’ve done, especially looking after him.”
Mali shrugs. “It wasn’t a hardship. I mean, he’s a fucking handful. How you married him, I have no idea, but he’s one of my best friends.”
“He’s lucky to have you,” I tell her. “We both are.”
She hugs me once more, and I missed her comfort. We’ve seen each other a couple times since I left, but it’s hardly enough when you’re used to spending almost every day together.
“I’m going to go see him, but Cam went back to the bar to close up. You should go talk to him.”
Ugh, the pit in my stomach doesn’t seem to be getting any smaller. “Okay, but if I go missing, this time it was not my own doing.”
She chuckles. “I’ll have the search party on standby.”
“Much appreciated.” I head to the door, turning around to face her as I walk backward. “Love you.”
“Love you more,” she calls back, and then she goes up to the front desk to get a visitor’s pass to see Hayes.
There aren’t many times I’ve been jealous of my best friend, but knowing she gets to see him, to spend time around him just talking and laughing, that definitely makes the list.
I hope my talk with Cam goes better than this.
I don’t know that I could handle two of the most important men in my life hating me.
