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Without finishing what I want to say, I turn around and run out the door. Hayes is halfway across the front lawn when I get outside. His steps slow, like he knows exactly who just followed him.
“Hayes,” I call.
He stops, throwing his head back as he turns around. “What do you want, Laiken?”
“What I’ve wanted since I was fifteen,” I answer. “You.”
My words catch him slightly off guard and his brows furrow. “That’s the thing, Lai. You had me. Lock, stock, and barrel. But you threw that away.”
“I know, but if you would just listen—“
“No,” he cuts me off. “I was willing to listen before you left. Before I woke up to find you gone. All I wanted to do back then was listen. But now? I don’t want to hear it. It’s too late, Laiken.”
I wonder if he knows how his words cut me like knives. Or if he even cares. Not that I would hold it against him if he didn’t, but the guy I knew hated hurting me more than anything. And here he is, doing nothing but hurting me.
“Please,” I beg. “Ten minutes. That’s all I need.”
“Ten minutes?” he asks, and I nod. “See, that’s where we differ. You only need ten minutes with me, but I needed the rest of my life with you.”
Before I can say anything, he turns around and finishes the walk to his truck. I take a couple steps toward him, but I know there’s nothing I can do to stop him from leaving. He starts his truck and only glances at me for a moment before he throws it into drive and pulls away.
I run my fingers through my hair as my eyes stay locked on his taillights. I’ve never wanted to see someone hit their brakes so bad in my life, but it never comes. He drives off into the night and leaves me here to feel the loss, just like I did to him.
Mom comes out shortly after I sit on the porch steps and takes a seat beside me, wrapping her arm around me and pulling me in. I rest my head on her shoulder as I cry.
“I don’t understand, baby,” she says softly. “If you still love him so much, then why did you leave?”
I hate how many times I’ve been asked that question, and how each time, the urge to tell the truth gets a little stronger. But if Hayes’s mom wouldn’t understand, there’s no way my God-fearing mother would. She would drag all four of us to a confessional by our ears before dropping our asses off at the nearest police station.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I choke out. “Please. It’s bad enough knowing everyone hates me.”
“Oh, honey.” She kisses the side of my head. “You were wrong to leave the way you did, and I was disappointed, but none of us hate you. You’re our Laiken. We could never.”
“Hayes does.”
“I can’t speak for Hayes,” she says. “But personally, I have a hard time believing that to be true.”
Why does everyone keep doing that? Is it because they don’t want to hurt me by telling me the truth? Because all it’s doing is hurting me by stoking the fire that burns for him to keep it alive.
“Mali wants me to fight for him,” I tell her.
Mom pulls her head away and tilts it so she can look at me. “Is that what you want?”
I exhale. “The only thing I’ve ever wanted is him, Mom. But mostly, I just want him to be happy, and I don’t know if I’m the person to make him happy anymore. Not after I broke him the way I did.”
“Lai, marriage is hard. It takes work. The honeymoon stage ends and that person is still there. You’re going to fight, and hurt each other at times. There’s no way around that. But that doesn’t mean that person isn’t still the one that makes you happy.”
I nod, understanding her point. “I know, but this is a little different thanI said something mean when I was hangry. I married him, promised to spend the rest of my life with him, and then vanished in the middle of the night. That might be a little way past breaking my vows of ‘for better or worse.’”
Cam comes out and sits on the other side of me. “What are you two gossiping about?”
My eyes roll but my mom nudges me. “No one better to ask than the best friend, right?”
Oh, now that’s a bad idea if I’ve ever heard one. But I’d be lying if I said she doesn’t have a point. He spent the whole day at the bar with him today, knowing what he said to me last night. So I know he was paying extra attention.
I turn to my brother. “Tell me what to do. Do I stay and fight for our marriage, or do I leave and let him move on?”
He’s shaking his head before I even finish the question. “Nope. No, sir. I’m not getting involved in that.”
