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“I know. There’s no confusion there, don’t worry about that. But I will say she looked genuinely sorry. I think she regrets leaving, Hayes.”
If I had to guess, right now I’d say she regrets coming back more. We have no idea what’s in store for us after last night. And I’ve never been so glad that my mom is safely inside of the confines of a nursing home. At least here, she’s protected and looked after.
“I don’t know,” I murmur.
But she’s not done pressing. “How do you feel about her being back?”
Looking away from her, I shake my head. “Same answer. I don’t know.”
My mom smacks my arm playfully. “You don’t know much, do you?”
“I know that I want to enjoy breakfast with my mom,” I tell her. “There’s a lot going on there, and I really don’t want to talk about it. I just want to be here with you right now.”
That seems to resonate with her, and she nods. “Okay, but I’m here if you want to talk.”
“I know,” I assure her, and I do know that.
But unloading on my mom when she has much bigger problems than I do is not something I can bring myself to do. Not today, not ever.
THE PARKING LOT ISnearly full, but it’s no surprise that the bar is empty. Most of them are locals enjoying the beach before it fills up for the summer. They’ll all filter in at some point. They always do.
Whatisa surprise, however, is seeing Laiken sitting in the corner—her face practically buried in her computer. She has a notebook beside her and headphones on. When she feels someone looking at her, she turns her head and our gazes meet.
I feel like a deer caught in the headlights. I can’t look away. My body won’t move. I’m just stuck, staring back at the woman I once thought I would spend the rest of my life with.
To my relief, she breaks the eye contact after what feels like a lifetime but is really only a few painfully long seconds.
“Oh, good,” Cam says as he comes out from the back. “You’re here. Mali is on her way so we can update her on last night before Riley comes in for her shift.”
While he’s moving onto other topics like inventory and tasting the beer we were worried about from last night, my attention is still stuck on the fact that Laiken is no more than twenty feet away from me.
“What’s she doing here?” I ask, hoping that she can’t hear me right now.
Not that it would matter if she could, but she’s going through a lot and I’m not exactly trying to make it worse—regardless of how much she might deserve it.
Cam looks confused until I nod over toward Laiken. “Oh! Sorry, I should’ve given you the heads up. I think the gas she inhaled last night was some kind of anesthetic. She should be fine, but I just want to keep an eye on her for twenty-four hours. If you’re uncomfortable though, we can just split the shift today.”
I shake my head. “No, it’s fine. I’ll deal with it.”
The part I don’t tell him is that a part of me wants to look after her, too. With this person out there, threatening to do God knows what, it’s better to keep her where I can see her. I know that I shouldn’t give a shit, and I should force myself to move on like I told myself I was going to the first night she showed up here, but I can’t. Because the girl sitting over there is the same girl I fell out of my mind in love with. There’s a lot in my head that I need to work through, butthatwill never change.
She’s always going to have that effect on me.
It’s only a few minutes later when Mali comes in like the storm that she is.
“Okay, what the fuck happened that you couldn’t tell me over the phone?” she shouts.
Cam looks at her fondly. “Hold on.”
He goes over and gently lets Laiken know Mali is here, careful not to startle her. She takes off her headphone and the two of them come back toward us. Laiken sits on one of the bar stools and I shake my head.
“You legally have to be twenty-one to sit there,” I tell her.
She narrows her eyes at me, as if she’s wondering if I’m just fucking with her or trying to be a dick, until Cam chimes in.
“He’s right. Even if you’re not drinking alcohol, you can’t sit at the bar.”
With a small, apologetic smile shot my way, she gets up and stands beside Mali. Cam slowly breaks down the events of last night, explaining it in a way that makes Laiken and me relive the moment I’d rather forget. After telling her about how Monty’s missing flyers were everywhere, he pulls the rolled-up picture out from under the bar.
