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But I can’t. “It’s fine. Mali has her.”
“You and I both know it’s not Mali she needs right now.” He takes the garbage bag out of my hand. “You’re going to be useless until she’s okay anyway, so there’s no point of fighting me on it.”
I fucking hate when he’s right.
Getting up, I take off the gloves and throw them away. Laiken is crying in Mali’s arms when I get over to them. Mali looks at me and I nod, silently telling her that it’s fine. She carefully turns Laiken and passes her to me.
Her head rests against my chest, and I run my hand up and down her back. There’s nothing I can say. I can’t tell her that it’s all right because it’s not. There’s a dead body in my fucking bar right now. I can’t tell her she’s okay because she’s not okay. She’s facing even more trauma. The only thing I can do is hold her close.
I sit down on one of the bar stools, bringing me closer to her level. She pulls away and looks at me. The sadness is there in her eyes. She’s mourning the loss of someone she doesn’t even know, and I can already tell she’s blaming herself for his death.
“Don’t do that,” I say softly. “You did not do this. Some psycho did this.”
She shakes her head. “But it all leads back to me.”
“This isn’t dominos. You are not directly responsible for this. It’s not your fault that someone decided to make us their own personal playthings. Okay? This isn’t on you.”
I doubt she believes me, but she nods anyway. Using my thumbs, I wipe the tears from her eyes. I want to kiss her. Lord knows it’ll take her mind off everything and put that smile I love back on her face. But the other day, when she kissed me just to keep me from revealing a little too much information in front of Riley, it almost killed me.
The feeling of her lips on mine again was pure fire. It was like being deprived of oxygen for hours and then sucking it in straight. It’s the only thing I could think about for the rest of that day and all the next, even in the midst of everything we’re dealing with. But more than anything, it scared the hell out of me, because her kiss is intoxicating, and I know too well what it’s like to be addicted to her.
The withdrawal is a bitch.
By the grace of God, she looks relatively okay. She’s shaken up, yes, but who wouldn’t be if they came walking into a place they’ve been a million times and sawthatin front of them? She could definitely be worse right now, that’s for sure. I guess when you go through as much as we have, you find a way to numb it all out.
“I don’t think either of them should be alone,” I tell Cam, referring to Laiken and Mali.
He nods as he finishes cleaning up the last of the dirt, cringing as he takes off the gloves and ties the bag closed. “I agree. This is definitely takes it up a level.”
Mali huffs. “As much as I justlovemen making decisions for me, I have to work. I won’t be alone. There are other people scheduled with me. But I don’t suppose one of you wants to sit there all day while I sell women lingerie?”
Cam purses his lips teasingly. “That depends. Do they try it on?”
Like I said, different set of rules.
She rolls her eyes, flipping him off and refusing to answer the question, so he moves on.
“When do you have to be at work?” he asks.
Looking up at the clock, she sighs. “Forty-five minutes, but my car is at Hayes’s house.”
Cam turns to me, almost like he’s about to ask me to take her, but there’s no way in hell I’m taking my eyes off Laiken. Not right now. Not during this. I love Mali, I do, but this is Laiken we’re talking about. And with this person’s apparent obsession when it comes to her, I’m not taking any goddamn chances.
“All right,” he sighs. “I’ll take you to get your car and then follow you to work to make sure you get there safely.”
She nods, coming over to give Laiken a hug and then looks at me. “Are we okay?”
I pull her in for a hug. “Yeah, we’re good.”
I’m still mad, and it definitely knocked her down a peg or two in my book, but when it comes down to it, I would’ve done the same thing had Cam asked me to. And he would do the same shit for me.
But let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.
THERE HAVEN’T BEEN MANYtimes I’ve been alone with Laiken since the day she came back. To be honest, I’ve been actively trying to avoid it. Every time we’re alone, I lose all sense of self-control. Clearly, nothing has changed. But hey, at least I’m consistent.
She sits in the corner, doing something on her computer while I wipe everything down. This is the second time this motherfucker has been in here. I don’t know what’s been touched and what hasn’t, and I’m not taking any chances.
It’s awkward being in here, knowing there is a dead body in the back. I have no idea how those mafia men deal with this shit on the regular. Personally, I’d rather do literally anything else. This is not my idea of fun, and no amount of power is worth dealing with it on the regular. But will I do it over and over again if it means keeping those I love safe? You’re damn right I will.
