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“And what do you think me leaving was?” I scream, finally reaching my breaking point. “It wasmeprotectingyou!”
Cam and Mali watch with wide eyes as the argument that has been building up for the last few weeks finally explodes, and they know there’s nothing they can do but let it happen. This has been a long time coming, and there is no getting through anything until we get this shit out of the way. But with the way it’s going, I don’t know if there will be anything left of us by the end of it.
“Fine,” Hayes says after a moment, but there’s venom in his tone. “Let’s say those two cancel each other out. We’re even on that front.”
He takes a couple steps toward me, looking at me with a level of resentment in his eyes that I haven’t seen before. Not even when I first showed up and came to see him in the hospital.
It’s dark.
It’s angry.
It’s fucking volatile.
“Protecting me justifieswhyyou left,” he sneers. “But go ahead and try to justifyhowyou left. Tell me what makes it okay that you walked out on me the same fucking way my dad did.”
I stop breathing.
Oh. My. God.
My eyes fill with tears as I realize he’s right. I did that. I never even thought about it because everything was such a goddamn whirlwind and my only thought was protecting Hayes. I didn’t tell him is because I knew he would’ve fought to keep me here, and I wouldn’t have gone.
But I didn’t realize I was taking one of the worst things that’s ever happened to him and repeating it.
“H,” I cry.
He takes backward, adding more distance between us. “Yeah, thanks for that.”
Turning around, he grabs his keys off the end table and heads for the door.
“Where are you going?” Cam calls out.
“To get fucking spray paint! I need to cover this shit!”
IT’S OFFICAL: I AMthe worst person alive. Seriously. There’s a special place in hell for people like me. It’s no wonder Hayes hasn’t forgiven me yet. Heshouldn’tforgive me. Not ever.
I destroyed him.
I saw firsthand how fucked up he was from how his dad left. He tried to hide it, but he was devastated. Cam spent months helping him get through it. And then I went and did the exact same fucking thing.
I stay curled up in a ball on the chair, crying as I think about how much I hurt him. Honestly, if he never wants to look at me again, I wouldn’t blame him. There’s no justification for that.
Mali sits on the arm beside me and runs her fingers through my hair.
“He hates me,” I tell her.
She sighs. “He doesn’t. He’s just hurt.”
But that’s not enough. “Well, he should hate me. I’m a horrible person. He should just divorce me and find someone better.”
“Please,” she says. “There is no one better than you. Well…except maybe me.”
It’s meant to make me laugh, but I don’t think anything can accomplish that at this point. I look up at her through tear-soaked lashes.
“Did you know that it was Cam who shot Monty?”
She shakes her head. “No, but I did know he was relating the way you left to his dad.”
I turn my whole body toward her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
