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I get into the passenger seat as I rattle off the information August is giving me before grimacing. “God, you smell like a dead fish.” Even Zacia thinks he smells nasty judging by the way she’s sniffing the air in his direction.
He shifts his narrowed eyes onto me. “And whose fault do you think that is?”
I grab his water bottle out of the cupholder and shove it into his face. “Hey! Hey! Can you tell me what Chronobender is doing? Hey! Hey! Hey!” I continue to obnoxiously ram it into his face, pretending it’s the microphone he assaulted me with, until he turns to look at me.
“I see.”
I grin, proud of myself. “Yeah? You see how annoying it is?”
He’s quiet for a moment. “Maybe.”
I feel like that was a job well done. “You know what I wanted to do today?”
“No.”
“Take a nap. Read a book. Peruse my Augustine with my eyeballs, and instead, someone decided to rob a bank.”
“Didn’t you use to rob banks?” he asks.
“Did I ask you… Mr. Reporter?”
“It’s Dave.”
“Yeah? Dave? Huh? Did I ask you?”
He grumbles something that he should probably be happy I don’t hear. I stretch and yawn. “I’m going to take a nap. Wake me when you get there.”
“It’s like two minutes away.”
“Fuck… I didn’t sign up for this shit. You know that? Not at all,” I grumble as I sink against the car door and question everything. Most of all, I question why I can’t just take a nap and read a book.
The reporter, who is more than thrilled at the opportunity to get right up in the action, pulls up near a police car as the officer starts to yell and wave at him until he sees me.
I get out and head over to where August has just arrived on scene. Everyone is thrilled about his arrival but not as thrilled as me.
“You look handsome today,” I say with a smile. “You just look delightfully sexy.”
“Um… thanks. I… you know… the robbery?”
“Oh. I forgot the moment I saw you. Is it just one guy?” I ask as Valerie, August’s manager, hurries after him. She’s a woman… an… irritating woman that I kind of like. She slowly, ever so slowly broke me down and forced me to feel feelings about her. It’s like if a demon fucked a lemon and had little lemon babies, you’d have Valerie.
Needless to say, we’re tight.
Kind of.
Only when she lets me get my way.
Of course, off to the side are some wannabe heroes who will likely accomplish nothing more than getting in August’s way. They seem to run rampant in the city like they think if they have some kind of superpower and a mask, it’s their right to run into danger for a chance of being dubbed a hero or a vigilante or something.
Valerie ignores them and turns back to us. “To my understanding there are two villains inside. A man and a woman, both with powers. The man is a sharpshooter, so—”
“Is that them right there?” I ask as I point to the man holding a woman hostage. He’s come over to the window like he thinks he’s going to make negotiations while the female robber hangs out in the background looking stupid.
“Yes, so August is going to stop time and—”
With a wave of my hand, I whip both robbers up into the air while snapping the hostage away, drive the robbers through the glass door and drop them on the ground in front of Valerie who gawks at them.
“August, that new book I want came out today. Can we go get it?” I have to talk kind of loudly over the groaning noises the robbers are making. Something about their bodies going through extremely tough glass must have been the issue.
