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“See! He’s fine,” Deus says with a big thumbs-up.
I stare at him. “How much did you know about his invulnerability?”
Deus gives me a shrug. “Well… I mean… I knew he could get run over by a car and be fine. Did I know he could take a bullet to the chest, I did not.ButI do want to remind you that you first asked Lex to burn him to a crisp, and then me to simply… shoot him. And as any good friend would do, I caringly did as you asked. Best friends, amiright?”
I continue staring at Deus… the weirdest human alive. Maybe he’s an alien. Maybe he fell down from some other galaxy and landed in a cult where he worshiped demons and shoots his friend’s brother over a joke.
“Amiright?” Deus repeats.
“August, go up to bed, I’ll be there in a bit. I’m going to show these guys to their rooms. Please burn the sheets.”
“Careful what you wish for or Deus will have the house burned down,” Lex says.
“Shit, you’re right. August, just… take the sheets off.”
“I will,” August assures me.
I lead the rest of them to the multiple bedrooms on the third floor. “They should be clean. I have a lady that comes in and freshens up the place even though I explain to her that I have absolutely no friends who would ever stay with me and she always goes, ‘Maybe someday.’ And looky here, someday actually came,” I say as I show them to the three rooms. “Feel free to get a snack, do whatever you want.”
“I want to go to sleep,” Lex says. “I’m fucking exhausted.”
“I will keep watch,” Deus decides.
“You’ve literally been awake all day, just go to sleep. There’s a security system.”
“It’s not enough.”
“Deus, just sleep. We’ll be fine. We need you fresh and ready for the morning, okay?”
“What are we doing?” he asks.
“Fuck if I know… it’s my birthday so we’re… having fun.”
He gasps. “I need to get you a present.”
“Please don’t.”
He completely ignores me and only stops when I use my telekinesis to throw him into his new bedroom and slam the door shut. Knowing him, he’ll clamber out the window and scurry off into the night. Once everyone else is settled, I walk back to my own bedroom where August is in the shower. It looks like he was partway through changing the sheets before heading off, so I finish changing them before walking into the bathroom where I can hear the water beating down.
“Do you want to be left alone or mind if I join you?” I ask.
“You can come in,” he mumbles.
I strip before peeking in at him. “Excuse me, sir, do you… could I perhaps come in and allow you to peruse my naked bod with your trembling eyeballs?” I say, trying to sound sophisticated.
August stares at me for a second before he finally breaks and gives me a smile. “I… do think I could handle that task.”
“It’s a task only for you,” I say as I step in and gasp. “Oh wow, such a beautiful man waiting all for me.”
“You’re a goof.”
“I have not a clue what you mean,” I say as I squeeze his muscular arms. “You look damn delicious.”
“Thank you? I think? I’m not quite sure… a little uncertain, honestly.”
“That is always best,” I assure him as I drape my arms over his neck. “But do you know what would make everything better?”
“Um… I’m already naked, and that’s generally what you claim makes things better.”
