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The shock of her words must be evident on my face as hers fills with a devious smirk. Her features lighten, smoothing out the fine lines and appearing younger than her years with the expression. “You knew?”
A very unladylike snort leaves her full lips. “Of course, I knew. I have my little spies everywhere, and I am not oblivious to the comings and goings of my only child.” A chuckle sounds in the air between us. “That man has been sniffing you out since you were fourteen years old. Even after he left high school, he would find a way to be in your company.” She raises both of her eyebrows and narrows her eyes at me with a disapproving expression. “Honestly, dear, give your mother some credit. If I believed for one second that you were not interested in his attention, he would have been floating in the Hudson River.”
I open my mouth, but no words leave my lips. Who is this woman before me? She is so different from the meek and frail woman I see when my father is around. One that I can’t stand as she cowers in his presence and caters to his unreasonable demands.
“All this time you, knew I was sneaking around with Ajax behind dad's and your back?” I don’t even know what to think. Perhaps we weren’t as discrete as we thought we were. “Does father know?”
“That you two were sleeping together, and his precious princess was compromised? Of course not! Ajax petitioned your father for your hand when this whole mess with looking for a family to tie ourselves to started, but your father immediately denied him. His family is not wealthy or strong enough to further the Penticton lineage.”
Lord, how many things are going to be revealed to me today? I sit dumbfounded at her words. I never knew that Ajax had attempted to get my father’s agreement to marry me. Would I have said yes, had he asked me? The answer immediately rises within me and not just because of my current outrage with him.I would have never married him, not willingly.He never saw me as anything but an object to cherish. There is no way Ajax Pickering would have enabled me or supported me to run Penticton Industries like Jaxon has.
He also wouldn’t have brought another woman home on your wedding night.My mind reminds me. Regardless of what Jaxon did to me that first night. I know that Ajax, despite believing that he loves me, wants a wife like his own mother. One that is dutiful and remains at home raising babies. Just the thought of that life forced on me raises my hackles and makes me want to run screaming.
“Jesus, mother. I feel like a complete fool. You knew all this time.” I release my hold of her hand and stand, pacing before her as she watches me with rapt attention.
“You are not a fool, Stella. You do not understand the inner workings of this life. Especially for wealthy, privileged women like us, but you will have to learn quickly, daughter.” She releases a deep, tired breath, one that I feel in my own soul. “Someone meant you harm. You have power now, Stella. You are one of the wealthiest and most powerful women in the world. You married a man other women covet. That comes with various threats.”
She stands up, places the tea next to her on the side table, and reaches for mine, placing it next to hers. Then she pulls me into her embrace and squeezes me tight. “I could have lost you today, Stella—my only child. I beg of you, daughter, show some restraint moving through this powerful world. You are making waves when you should be making ripples.”
20
Jaxon
“Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
I’mswimminginwhatfeels like deep molasses. I can barely move my limbs; they feel so heavy and weighed down. I struggle to open my eyes, but they feel glued shut and like a ten-ton truck is holding them closed. There’s a searing pain in my chest at each forced breath entering my lungs. I am not even sure if I am actually breathing on my own anymore. Muted noises surround me, but I can’t make any of them out clearly.Where am I?
Rapid images flash before my eyes in technicolor, causing my body to lock up tight at their dizzying speed and ferocity. The first image to assault me is of me arguing with Stella through our closed-door last night, where I raged against it to no avail, and she refused to open it to me. I felt fury and defeat as I walked away.
The image changes quickly to me driving angrily back to my estate because I couldn’t keep my wandering mind or unfortunate hard dick from thinking about my little ice queen. The desire to strangle her while my cock choked off her airway was all I could think about.
The image flips once again, causing my stomach to lurch, this time to Stella in the den with Ajax. Her tears and the devastated emotions across her beautiful face as he declared his love for her and urged her to leave me.My fucking best friend is a traitor. I should have strangled him at that very moment. Instead, I stood there like an idiot, allowed his words to reach Stella’s ears. Words urging her to leave me, to be with him, to take my most valuable possession from me. I have allowed myself to become weak over that woman when I should have been strong.
At that thought, I can hear loud beeping happening around me through the deep fog I am currently anchored in. “His blood pressure is rising, he’s going into cardiac distress.”Who the fuck are they talking about? Who’s going into cardiac distress?The pain in my chest feels like it is exploding into the rest of my limbs. My head is swimming, and the darkness is once again calling me. I want to scream for Stella. To demand her presence before me, but my body refuses to obey and traps me once again in the utter void of nothingness.
“Will he eventually wake up?” The voice sounds small and hesitant, making my body want to wrap around it and bring it comfort. To protect it with all of my strength and being. The sound calls to me from the darkness I am residing in. I try to wade through the thick void that is keeping me trapped, but I’m losing the war against it. The urge to fight rises but is immediately drowned out as if my body has no energy and I am completely spent.
Once again, images accost me at rapid speed, blinding lights making me shudder from the racing streams in my mind. This time the image that greets me is of my father when he was still alive—the look of disappointment across his stern features at my constant rebellious antics.
“You need to grow up, Jaxon, and behave like a Stratford and a titan of industry, not some spoiled playboy plowing through all of the spread legs available to you. You need to prove to me that you are worthy of the Stratford legacy!” He downs the scotch in his hand, dismissing me like he always does. He can’t bear to be in the same room with me for long. I am such a miserable failure of a son. Such a disappointment to the Stratford name, a fact that he never hesitates to point out. The weight of that sentiment and knowledge crushes me until I’m struggling to breathe.
The image switches, and now it’s of a small dark-haired boy dressed in a black suit, holding fiercely to an older woman’s hand before an ebony casket, laid with red roses cascading down its sides. The smell of the roses permeates through the air around them until it’s an almost suffocating smell.
“Don’t coddle him, Mrs. Pox. He needs to learn that death is a part of life. Pain and suffering will make him stronger.” My father’s harsh voice causes the boy to flinch and cower, hiding his face in the woman’s abdomen.
“Sir, he just lost his beloved mother.” Mrs. Pox’s grip tightens on the boy’s hand, and she shifts more of her body in front of him to block my father.
“Yes, well, I lost my wife. You don’t see me here sobbing, do you?”
“Doctor! Doctor! FUCK! Someone help!” I can hear the shrill sound of a female shouting through the darkness, stopping the images of my father from running through my mind and bringing me nothing but pain. My chest feels so tight, like a balloon someone keeps blowing into that is ready to pop. Once again, my limbs feel weighed down, and the pain that I was feeling in my chest increases until I can’t think or feel anything else.
“Dammit, he’s having another heart attack. Mrs. Stratford, you need to get out of the way!” A male voice is yelling.
Who the fuck is he yelling at like that? Is he yelling at my Stella like that?I will get up from this darkness and beat his fucking ass. No one talks to my Stella like that. She’s a goddamn Stratford. In just a moment when I can catch my breath and open my eyes, I am going to break the jaw of whoever this fucker is, talking to my wife like that.
“Stella, you can’t remain here like this. It’s been a week and he hasn’t woken up. The doctor is not even sure that he will, in fact, wake up.” The soft feminine voice sounds distressed at the words she is uttering. She is speaking to my wife and I can hear her through the nothingness that I am residing in. The void that keeps me trapped with constant memories and harsh truths.
I have heard Stella at my side begging me to wake. Then losing her temper and demanding that I come back to her. My awareness of time is nonexistent.Has it really already been a week that I have been trapped in this hell? That can’t be correct, can it?Even though I would like nothing more than to open my eyes and pull her defiant, stubborn ass into my arms. Something is keeping me a trapped prisoner here. Perhaps it’s my fear that she will readily leave me when I wake. Will she leave me for Ajax? Does she love him? A sharp burning pain accosts my chest at just the thought.
