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“Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.” Samuel Johnson
“Iwasanidiotthat walked right into a trap.” The words make bile rise up the back of my throat. I have never felt such shame at being a man, and not seeing what was happening right in front of me. The truth is I was weak, I should have known better than to let Kalista even approach me. I didn’t see the warning signs of being led into a trap. I should have been more observant and noticed what was happening around me instead of daydreaming about Stella’s perfect cunt. I ought to have realized that she would want to hurt Stella. To get retribution for my wife’s vicious smackdown, and the best way to do that was through me.I was a blind, dumb fuck.
My male ego, though, was flattered, like a fucking preening peacock. Even though I knew what I had with Kalista in the past was over and could never compare to the intensity of what I have with Stella. For a tiny moment, a split second in time, I was flattered that two beautiful women wanted me, that they would fight over me. Isn’t that every man’s grotesque fantasy? Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that my little ice queen would be so deep under my skin. That she would be a dagger in my heart that I could not live without, unless I wished to bleed to death from the gaping hole that she had carved.
I should have realized it the first time, when I placed myself between her and a bullet. But it took her leaving me, destroying my sanity, and ensuring that I couldn’t function without her to realize the depth of my true emotions. Finding her bleeding to death on that bedroom floor, her blood written declaration next to her was the ass kicking that I needed to realize that without her, there is no point in living.
Had she died from her wounds, I would have found a way to follow her into the next life. She will never be rid of me now. Stella Stratford will call to me even in the ether, her soul is forever intertwined with mine. We are bound as one, and I will never release her from my hold. Not in this life or any of the next ones. I will murder anyone who tries to get in my way of having her. She. Is. Mine.
“Stella…”I meet her intense blue gaze and have to swallow the lump in my throat. My eyes dart to my in-laws and I watch as my mother-in-law raises her eyebrow at me with expectation, while Thomas looks like he’s getting ready to throttle me with my next words. I really fucking wish I didn’t have an audience for this. This should be a moment just between Stella and me where I beg like the loser I am for her forgiveness. I can see though, that no one is going to give me that option, so fuck it. I have to man up and tell her exactly how I feel.
“Stella, I swear to you…I…never cheated. I was done with Kalista after you and I started our relationship in earnest.” Thomas lets out an unintelligible response behind me and grunts in pain from the swat Rachel gives him with her hand.For fuck sakes…this is not going well at all.Like how the fuck do I confess to the beautiful woman in front of me that she is my everything?
“I…I care for you deeply, Stella. I would never have done that to you…” I stumble on my words, my tongue feeling thick and the words I’m desperate to utter clogging my throat.
“Oh Jaxon, you fucking coward, spit it out already. Tell her the truth!” Rachel’s harsh words have me staring back at her with rancor. I watch as confusion crosses Stella’s beautiful features. She parts her lips, no doubt to refute the words I have said so far. A deep painful breath leaves my chest and with desperation, I spit it all out, “I’m fucking in love with you, Stella! I couldn’t have cheated because there is no one but you for me. Not Kalista, not any other woman, just you.”Eloquent as ever asshole, my mind laughs at my expense.
My fucking knees are starting to hurt, and so is my pride. I watch as my words wash over Stella, and the disbelief on her face is evident. She thinks my words are insincere, that they are platitudes of a man caught with his pants down. How do I make it crystal clear to my beautiful little viper that she is my everything?
A green file folder flies over my head and lands in Stella’s lap to my shock and her confusion. I watch as she grabs it, pulling her hand from my grip. I feel the loss of her touch, my hand craving hers back in its grasp automatically, with the desperation that my whole body is feeling to ensure that she is mine. “What is this?’ Her voice comes out restrained and small as if she thinks whatever is in that folder will hurt her.
“Proof of his true feelings and intentions, daughter. He’s not lying, he does love you. More than even I could have imagined. He has signed everything over to you solely, Stella. You control Stratford industries and all its assets.”
“YOU DID WHAT!” Thomas shouts behind me. I ignore his shock at Rachel’s words and keep my eyes pinned to my wife as she opens the folder and reads the documents. Sweat combined with dread drips down my back. What if that’s not enough to convince her? I have nothing left to give her but my very life. If she asks for that too, I will gladly hand it over to her. What am I without her? Nothing, I am nothing.
Thomas is swearing a litany of profanities behind me, but I could care less about his opinion of me. He deems me weak for signing over everything to Stella. What he fails to understand is none of it matters without her.She is what I want.
“Thomas, let’s leave these two alone.” From the corner of my eye, I watch as Rachel yanks on his arm and pulls him from the room. The door closes quietly behind them, and finally, I am alone with my heart’s greatest desire. My greatest possession, the one that has yet to utter a word.
“Stella, I know…I have wronged you. That I’m a callous fucking idiot, but I swear to you. I love you, Stella, with all of my being, with my dark and tainted heart. With everything that I am, I swear I love you and I will never let you go. You will never walk this earth alone without me. I will be your shadow and your sword for all of eternity.” I pull her hand into mine, turning it over and kissing her warm palm.
“Jaxon…I don’t understand…the picture?” Stella doesn’t finish her words and I can see the questions across her features and maybe still a bit of doubt. Can I really blame her? If the table were turned, would I readily believe without an explanation?
I drag my hand back through my hair, her palm still clutched in my other hand. I’m afraid to let her go, that somehow something else will try to take her from me. “I hated going to that gala without you, but I knew it was our responsibility to do our duty for Stratford Industries.” I inhale a deep breath, and push the rest of my words out, praying that Stella gives me a chance and just listens to me.
“I couldn’t focus Stella, I was in that room, but you were all I could taste on my lips. Your pretty pussy all that was on my mind. I couldn’t keep my dick from going painfully and embarrassingly hard at the thoughts of you. So I…I excused myself to the empty lobby, trying to calm myself down. Kalista followed me, she…ah fuck! She caught me rubbing one out over my pants and took advantage of the situation, pressing herself to me and trying to kiss me. I moved my face away from hers and she got me in the neck.” I pull Stella’s hand tight to my lips, kissing her knuckles. My hand clammy, holding her intertwined fingers and sweat trickling down my back, making the hospital gown stick to my body.
“I pushed her away, Stella, so hard that she almost landed on her ass. I told her to stay away from me. That what we had was in the past, and all I wanted was you. That you were my future. I never knew there was a photographer hiding and taking photos. I underestimated what lengths Kalista would go to, to try to get me back and to hurt you.” I meet her gaze, deep blue blazing into gray. I watch as she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and bites down on it. The desire to pull it from her and suck it into my own mouth almost overwhelms me. “I was naive, stupid even for not seeing the danger, but I swear Stella, you are everything I want, all that I need.”
I stand up and move my body next to her on the bed, pressing my forehead to hers, and she allows it. The look of trepidation is still warring in her eyes and I know I have to clear all doubts from her mind about my feelings for her. She needs to understand that this is real, this is everything. “I love you, Stella Stratford.” The words leave my mouth, as I press my lips to her skin. When I pull back, I see the tears in her eyes, waiting to cascade down her beautiful face. The face that belongs to my future. “There is nothing I wouldn’t give you; everything I am belongs to you. My wealth, my name, our empire, and my heart, without you, there is nothing worth living for. My miserable, weak heart would fail without you. It only beats for you, Stella.”
A tear slides down her right cheek, followed by another, and a whimper leaves her pouty mouth. She reaches for my face tentatively. Her touch is a balm to my soul and thudding heart. “Take everything, Stella. It’s yours, it’s all yours.” I kiss her hand and then lean my face closer until I’m just a hair’s breadth from her lips.
“You are mine. You were always meant to be mine. You are my possession, my greatest desire, my heart and my soul. I will never let you go, Stella, so please don’t run from me. Don’t run from us.”
39
Stella
“When a woman is talking to you, listen to what she says with her eyes.” Victor Hugo
Theshockofhiswords and the documents before me are making me feel light-headed. Jaxon loves me? Truly loves me and has signed over all of his legacy to me. How is this possible? Am I still in a dream state or did I die, and this is all some fucked up place my brain has been transported to. One where I get everything I have ever wanted all at once, only to realize that I am dead?
Could this be real?I feel the weight of all this information and his declaration of his feelings coming at me so suddenly. It makes me feel like I am suffocating or drowning under its weight. While I had hoped that he had feelings for me as more than just a warm body to spend the night with, I never for a moment imagined the depth of his feelings. Not even after he took that bullet for me.
Did I think he that he enjoyed fucking me any way he could and got off on controlling my pleasure?Sure, fucking did. Did I acknowledge and welcome the fact that he’s a bit unhinged and insanely possessive where I’m concerned?Yes, but did I think that in any way meant he loved me?Not for a second.
Now lying here in this hospital bed, hearing him declare his feelings and intentions for me and his denial of what happened with Kalista, I am not sure what to think or feel. Can I trust that his feelings are true?He just signed over his fortune to you!My mind screeches with disbelief.
