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“How good of friends are you with Kaspian?”
My brows pull together. She’s asked a variation of this before. “What are you asking exactly?”
She looks off to the side. “Sometimes I feel like you guys barely know each other and other times I feel like you have a stronger connection.”
I wonder if everyone sees what she does. Is it obvious there’s more between us? And does she even have the right to know? Plus, what Kaspian and I are is hard to explain. Hardly dating and in love. Not exactly best friends. What she said explains it perfectly. There are times where I don’t think I know him at all, yet I feel like he’s the only person in the world who gets me.
Bringing the butt of the cigarette to my lips, I inhale slowly, staring down at her while I wonder what it is she’s wanting to hear. Or maybe what she doesn’t.
The door to the bar opens, letting music and loud chatter penetrate the relative silence outside.
“Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I think I’m done for the night,” Kaspian says, his hands coming to rest on my shoulders as he gives me a squeeze before moving toward Willow to give her a hug. “Thanks for inviting me out. Are we still on for lunch on Wednesday?”
Her lips twitch slightly as her eyes narrow briefly. She looks tense, her eyes flickering to me for half a second before she focuses on Kaspian and smiles. “Yes, of course.”
She doesn’t want me to know they’re…dating? Is that why she’s asking about me and him? Is she jealous? Or does she think I’ll be upset that she moved on from having interest in me to going out with him?
“Okay, cool,” Kas responds before turning to walk away from us.
I put my cigarette out on the brick building behind me and toss it in the trash. “I think I’m going to call it a night, too,” I announce, glancing at my watch.
“Oh. Okay.”
“Have a good night, Willow.”
I walk in the opposite direction Kaspian went, pulling my hood over my head to protect me from the biting wind. I make it around the corner and look up to find Kas leaning against the side of my truck.
“Ready to talk?”
ChapterTwenty-Six
Not wanting to take him back to my house, I drive us to an overlook with a view of a pond surrounded by countless trees. However, it’s late, and you can’t see much, but we’re not here to take pictures. It’s quiet and secluded, allowing us the privacy we need for the talk we’re about to have.
“All right. Talk.”
Kas unbuckles his seatbelt and shifts in the seat to face me. “What do you want to know?”
“Everything. From the beginning.”
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “My dad left my mom and me when I was eleven. He had never been a good father or husband. He was absent a lot, and when he was around, he was angry. He hated us. There’s no other way to explain it. He beat my mom first, and then he started hitting me.”
I nod my head a couple times, realizing why and when his issues started to form. “An alcoholic?”
“He drank, but it’s not like he was abusive because he was an alcoholic. He was abusive because he was a terrible person.” He exhales, rubbing his palm over his forehead a few times as he stares at the dashboard. “Anyway, he did…other things. To me. Probably to her. He was never one that felt he needed permission to do anything.”
His eyes find mine briefly, his head still down, and it’s the first time he’s shown any sort of insecurity. He doesn’t have to say anything else for me to understand what he’s talking about. My anger bubbles inside me.
“When he left, it was a relief, even if we struggled. Not having hot water or food every day was easy to live with when you didn’t have to worry about being abused. But, when I was thirteen, my mom disappeared and I had to stay with my dad again. Everything picked up like it never ended. My mom didn’t pop back up for another two years, and as mad as I was at her for leaving me in the first place, I jumped at the chance of moving back in with her and her new husband. She said she left to get her life together. She claimed to have gone to rehab and therapy and that’s where she found her new guy, Craig. By that time, I was fifteen, and the damage had already been done.
“My formative years were fucked. I had trust issues and abandonment issues. I was a victim nearly my whole life and I was tired of it. After a year, Craig couldn’t handle me. I was the cause of many arguments between him and my mom. I didn’t listen to him and he tried disciplining me, but I wouldn’t let that happen. We had several fights that ended in broken dishes and furniture. Mom tried making it work for another year before she couldn’t anymore. She chose him, and once again I was left behind. I refused to live with my dad. I didn’t even tell him she left. We hadn’t spoken in years anyway.
“I went about my life, working and couch surfing, saving money for the cheapest place I could rent. One day, when I was almost twenty, I ran into my dad again. He was with his new wife, and when I stopped in front of them, he didn’t introduce me as his son. He stumbled his way through some bullshit lie and hurried away before I could spill the beans. He never told her about me and it made me snap. It was all I thought about for months. I was planning on killing him myself, but you got to him first.”
His eyes slowly lift to mine. “Were you there?” I ask.
“I was nearby. I had been following him and knew where he was working. I saw you talk to him but didn’t think much of it. Not until he left with you and never returned. Hours went by as I sat in my car down the road, and eventually you emerged, but he never did. I followed you back to your place just so I knew where to find you, and then I went back and found him.”
“What’d you do?”
