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ChapterTwenty-Two
Ididn’t see Vicente for the rest of the day after I kissed him, and so far today I’ve gone without seeing him. Left alone, I was forced to occupy myself with cooking, reading, and talking to Autumn.
“So, what do you think his problem is?” she asks as she gets ready for a date. “You think he started ignoring you because you slipped your tongue in his mouth? Seems strange.”
I sigh. “I don’t know. We were fine until I kissed him. He got a little weird and then possessive. But not in a sexy way. I can deal with someone saying I’m theirs and only theirs if they make mefeelthat way. I can understand not being overly affectionate or romantic, but I need a little something.”
“Yeah. And he gives you nothing.”
“Nothing besides the best sex of my life. Which I guess makes sense. We’re not dating. He’s never led me to believe I’m someone important to him, but…well, maybe I want to be.”
“Girl, you’re letting that dick get to your head.”
I let out a small laugh. “You don’t know how good it is, though.”
“Well, hopefully I get a reminder tonight. I’ve been on three dates with this guy, and if he doesn't maul me at the end of our evening together, I’ll be forced to become a nun, because obviously I’ve lost all my sexual prowess.”
“Oh stop,” I say with a laugh.
“I’m serious,” she says before giggling. “Anyway, I have to go. I’ll text you later, but if I’m lucky, hopefully I’ll be too busy.”
“Okay, well, good luck.”
At a quarter after six, the garage door goes up, and a couple minutes later, Vicente walks in. Before he can disappear into his room, I get up from the couch and walk through the kitchen to find him loosening his tie as he stands near the sink.
“Hey,” I say softly.
“Hey,” he replies in a gruff tone.
My bare feet pad across the wooden floor, stopping in front of him and taking his tie in my hands, undoing the knot and pulling it from around his neck.
“If I crossed a line, I apologize. I know we’re nothing serious, but I didn’t think a kiss would make you so angry.”
He watches me play with the black and silver tie before shucking off his suit jacket and tossing it to the counter.
“I’m not angry.”
“You’ve ignored me for two days.”
He sighs, reaching for my hands and stopping my fidgeting. “Mariella, you can understand why I don’t have serious relationships, considering what I do, right?”
I nod. “Yeah, but—”
“I don't want to get married or have kids and subject anyone else to the life I have. I’m aware it’s dangerous. What I do puts everyone around me at risk.”
“But you’re protecting me,” I say. “You could protect your family from any risk there may be.”
“There shouldn’t be risks like being shot down while shopping. Nobody should have to worry about getting killed simply for being close to me. I can’t be the causeandthe person who prevents it. For that reason, and others, I don’t bother getting close. I don’t fall in love, and I don’t plan my future. I could be gone tomorrow.”
My face falls. “That’s an awful way to live. To keep yourself from happiness.”
“It’s not to keep myself from happiness, it’s to protect others from going through grief. If you get close to me, you’ll eventually lose me, and I don’t want you to have to go through that kind of pain.”
“Why bother with all thisyou belong to mestuff, and marking me with your initials if you don’t plan on us being anything but fuck buddies?”
“I’m not a perfect man, Mariella. Sometimes I want the unattainable.”
I realize this is a rare and vulnerable moment for him. He’s cracking his hard shell and revealing something he may not have ever told anyone. I freeze, unsure of the right move at this moment.
