AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Dahlia furrowed her brow. “You mean, like when people say that punching someone just happened.”
“Precisely. We learn some mastery over these impulses as children. It’s socialization. In the wild, we would have some use for such things, but in a civilized culture, we’re all taught to rein in our impulses. No one wants to be friends with people who punch them, after all.”
“But if we have mastery—”
“Well, that’s the thing,” said the therapist. “There’s a sort of delicate balance within our brains. We have an instinctive part of ourselves, and we have a thinking and reasoning part. When we are threatened or stressed or angered, that often impedes our ability to think rationally and clearly.”
“Yeah,” said Dahlia.
“But you’ve likely heard that the best thing that can be done for anger management is to teach yourself to wait to react. You’ve heard about counting to ten?”
“I have, sure,” said Dahlia.
“That sort of practice allows us a chance to try to short-circuit our instinctive brains and to reach for our higher selves. You may not think that you can do this while you’re shifted into your other form, but I assure you that I’ve helped all manner of creatures do it, and it’s very simple. It reallyisjust counting to ten.”
“It can’t be that simple,” said Dahlia.
“It’s simple but not easy,” said therapist. “Instinct is hard-wired. Overriding it is not instinctive. It requires being deliberate. It requires hard work. It’s not an answer that requires no effort at all.”
“I don’t mind hard work,” said Dahlia.
“Very good,” said the therapist. “Well, then, it’s a bit difficult to trigger your raven mocker instincts, but I think it can be managed. I think a visit to a hospice or—”
“What?” said Dahlia. “Trigger it onpurpose?”
“Well, how else will you practice? I’ll be with you all the time, of course, and I’ll help you.”
“Help me? It would be dangerous for you. What if I hurt you?”
The therapist laughed. “Oh, I’ve worked with far more dangerous species than you. I’m not worried. Besides, did I mention that I’m a siren?”
“You did,” said Dahlia, furrowing her brow.
“I can take care of myself,” said the therapist.
Dahlia considered this. “But you don’t understand what it’s like. And waiting and counting to ten isn’t going to work. This last episode I had, that’s exactly what I did. I waited. And then I made my boyfriend pass out.”
“Why don’t we talk about that?” said the therapist. “Tell me everything.”
Dahlia explained about having been at her field practicum when she knew that the man in the back bedroom was going to die. She talked about how it took everything in her being not to react and then how she’d called Niles.
The therapist nodded, asking questions here and there, making notes on a tablet she balanced on her lap.
“So, you see, I think waiting made it worse,” said Dahlia.
“Actually, I think this is all very fascinating,” said the therapist. “The truth is, your instincts did not overwhelm you at all. You were able to stop yourself from feeding on the social worker you were shadowing, the patient you were there to help, and from the man in the back room, who was the real target of your desire, yes? That’s the person you always want to feed on? The one who’s going to die?”
“Well, true,” said Dahlia.
“Have you ever fed on a dying person?”
“No,” said Dahlia in a wondering voice. “No, I haven’t.”
“So, you see, you’ve resisted your instincts from the beginning, haven’t you?”
“I…” Dahlia didn’t know what to say. She was stunned. “But Ihaveto feed on someone.”
“Do you? Have you ever tried not feeding on anyone?” The therapist shrugged.
