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I touched the chain that hung from my neck. It was tucked into my shirt. “Of course,” I said. “I never take it off.” Even in the shower, I didn’t take off the necklace.
His smile softened. “Gracias,” he said and pulled me back enough so that he could plant a kiss on my cheek. “Have fun,” he said against the shell of my ear.
My knees wobbled a little as I walked from the room. Maybe I should have told him the whole truth, but until I had a positive test to show him, I didn’t want to get anyone excited. Would he even be excited? We both knew that children weren’t a question for us; it was an inevitability. But he never explicitly said that he wanted them.
David was waiting for me in the foyer. Apparently, Angel had sent him a text and told him to be ready, and the man had rushed to beat me to the door. “Gracias, Doña Emma,” he said the moment he saw me, “for not telling Angel about the incident the last time I went shopping with you.”
“Don’t let it happen today, and we’re square, okay?” I asked, although I was banking on him getting a little distracted so that I could duck into a pharmacy.
“Si,” he said and opened the front door for me. “Shall we?”
The drive to Midtown was quiet — David was good at being seen and not heard — and while we walked through the sporting goods’ store, he largely left me undisturbed.I could slip away, I mused as I looked through the racks of spandex and sports bras.
I did pick up a handful of outfits that I could use in the gym; I hadn’t totally lied when I said I wanted some clothes to train in. It would be helpful if I was able to move a little freer when sparring with Lili, who was glad to have someone who was willing to go all-in with her. She said the security detail will spar with her, but they always pull their punches, and that wasn’t a way to learn.
Though she's going to be mad if I can’t do the sparring bit of training for a while, I mused as I shuffled over to the wall of athletic shoes. I had a pair of tennis shoes from my days as a courier, but the soles were thin in places. “Excuse me,” I called to an assistant. “Could you help me? I’m a little lost when it comes to athletic shoes, and I want to get the best for what I plan to do.”
The girl gave me a once-over and didn’t look entirely impressed. I knew I’d gone out a little shabbier than necessary, but I was in Midtown, not the boutiques that Lili dragged me into. “Our shoes are kind of pricey,” the woman said with a little sneer. “Maybe a Target or a Walmart would be more your speed?”
The insult was hidden in a question, and where I might have been embarrassed before, the thought of the black credit card in my wallet made my spine straight. I would not be the bitch who threw my money in this woman’s face…but I could teach her a little lesson in empathy. “I might be able to get a more economical deal somewhere else, that’s true,” I said, “but I’m here to get shoes, so maybe just help me instead of telling me to go to your competitor.” I raised my voice for the last bit, just enough for the manager nearby to hear.
“What’s going on here?” the manager, a short man with unfortunate facial hair, asked, rushing over.
The woman gazed at me with pleading eyes; this was probably not her first time being a first-class bitch to a customer. I smiled, and I knew by her flinch that it was unpleasant. “Everything’s fine, sir,” I assured him. “Your employee was just helping me pick an athletic shoe.”
The manager eyed her for a moment. “Let me know if you need any further assistance,” he said to me.
“That won’t be necessary,” I said. “Right?”
The woman stared at me for a moment, before answering. “Right.” She looked at her manager. “I’ve got this one, Carl.”
For the next fifteen minutes, the woman answered all of my questions and helped me find a shoe that fit great and would let me do what I needed to do during training sessions. When she rang me up, and I took out the black credit card, I watched her eyes go wide. “Maybe don’t rush to judgment next time,” I suggested.
The woman’s face twisted, but she didn’t say anything besideshave a good daywhen everything was done. “You handled that very well, Doña Emma,” David said as we left. “Angel would have been proud.”
A sarcastic response rose in my throat, but I just nodded instead. “Can we stop at the CVS on the way home? I need some feminine products.”
David’s nose scrunched a little and I almost laughed. “Si,” he said, and we walked back to the parked SUV.
The trip to the pharmacy lasted no more than five minutes. I thought I would feel more…anxious about the whole thing, but David stayed in the car, and no one even blinked as I paid for the obnoxiously pink box. Hiding it was even easier because I put it in my purse, and David appeared absolutely relieved that he didn’t have to see a box of tampons or whatever he thought that I was purchasing.
I would be mad about his reaction if it didn’t work out so well.
CHAPTER22
Emma
My hands were shaking. I could barely rip open the plastic around the box.Why the fuck do they need plastic wrap?I thought and resorted to ripping at the plastic with my teeth. Finally, the protective layer gave way, and I tore into the pink box. Inside, there were two plastic tests and a set of instructions.
How hard could it be to pee on a damn stick? But still, dutifully, I unfolded the instructions and gave it a read…and confirmed for myself that the instructions were self-explanatory anyway. The whole process was, frankly, undignified, and the three-minute wait after was downright cruel.
I stood in the small hall bathroom — in a wing far from mine and Angel’s room and his office so that I could dispose of the test in peace — and stared at the test strip. I watched as the control line appeared, and then seconds later, the positive line appeared.
I thought I was going to be shocked or something…but I wasn’t surprised in the least. Instead, a sense of calm settled in the pit of my stomach. My hand pressed there, as if I could feel the life that was taking root there, and tried to imagine the child that that life would become.
How do I feel about this?It wasn’t the first time I’d asked myself that question today, but now, it was relevant. The stick was positive. There was life. So…how did I feel about that life?
Unbidden, the image of my mother came to mind. She had always been the most important person in my life; we were two peas, so to speak. Her illness had left me with a lot of open wounds that I was still dealing with, but Angel had been right before, I cherished the good memories that I had of her. She would have beenthrilledto be a grandmother. I could picture the whole thing: her helping me to set up a nursery, holding my hand at ultrasounds, scolding Angel for whatever dumb thing he said or did.
