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“I looked up one of the other Markham resorts, and they have a mud bath in the spa. I wonder if our resort will have one.” A sparkle lit her eyes.
I shook my head, almost hating to disappoint her. “No, it won’t, because it’s not going to happen.”
Jesus. Do I need to have a sit-down with all the women in my family? First Lyra, and now Mom.Maybe I should preemptively talk to Carmen and Maddie and give Isabelle a call while I was at it. All the females in my family seemed to have lost their minds.
“Why not?” my mom asked.
“Because I won’t let it.”
She put a hand on her chest. “Whatever for? Have those grumpy old men on the business commission gotten into your head?”
I hated to break it to her, but I was one of those grumpy men. “No, Mom. I can think for myself. A big resort is a bad idea.”
“It wouldn’t be that big, would it?” She chuckled. “It’s not like they’re building Atlantis.”
For now. Don’t put any ideas in their heads. “The size doesn’t matter.”
“Spoken like a true man.”
I gaped at her. “Mom…” This conversation had gone beyond sideways. I wanted to make an excuse to retrieve my dog and get the hell out of Dodge before it got worse, but I hadn’t even broached the topic of why I’d come.
She shrugged as if she hadn’t just made a joke laced with sexual innuendo.
So… not… cool.I had no words.
“Oh, get over yourself, Bennett. I lived in a house with five teenage boys. I listened to you guys talk about farts and butts and balls nonstop. You’re a grown man. You can handle a little penis joke.” She grinned. “Little-penis joke. Get it?”
I covered my eyes with my hand. “Mom.”
“Okay, fine,” she huffed. “I’ll never make another joke. Are you sure I can’t get you some lunch? I got some great roast beef at the deli yesterday.”
From penises to balls and butts to roast beef. I felt a headache forming. “No, I’m good.” And if I had been hungry, the last few moments would have made me lose my appetite. I loved my mom, but there were some things I didn’t want to hear coming from her mouth. “The real question is if you’re good.”
“You stopped by to check on me? Why wouldn’t I be good?”
“Because of Paul’s surgery in two days?” I tried not to feel exasperated. Perhaps my sister was correct and Mom was worrying so much she was in avoidance mode. That would explain the previous train of conversation.
“I’ll be honest with you—I’m dreading it. He is going to be a bear to handle for the two weeks he’s recovering. The anticipation of it has already made him antsy.”
I studied her for signs that she needed to be talked off the ledge, as Carmen had put it, but found nothing. Aside from cracking penis jokes, she seemed as levelheaded as ever. I hadn’t needed to check on her, but a visit with my mom was never time wasted.
“I thought the doctor said two to four weeks.”
“Oh, he did,” she said dryly. “But Paul only heard ‘two.’”
I squeezed her hand. “I don’t want you to worry. Someone will be here to help you at all times.”
Though she squeezed my hand in return, she chuckled. “I raised eight children, nine if we include Wes. I think I can handle my husband for a few weeks.”
If nothing else, she’d have a captive audience for more penis jokes. “All the same, you don’t have to do it alone.”
“I know, but I don’t wantyouto worry. You should be out there living your life, trying to find a woman so you can give me more grandchildren.”
I met her pointed gaze head-on. This wasn’t the first time I’d had to squash this topic. My mom had been a fantastic mother, but she was born to be a grandmother.
“Don’t hold your breath,” I said. “As someone reminded me recently, I’m related to most of the single women in town.”
My thoughts returned yet again to Claire, and for the first time, I wondered why she didn’t have a ring on her finger. There had to be thousands of eligible men in the big city. I would have figured she’d have settled down by now. Or maybe she hadn’t gotten around to it on account of her career. Being a lawyer seemed like it would be demanding.
