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I pummeled into his body relentlessly, making the table shake beneath us. “Fuck, Ryan. Even…Better…Than…Last…Time…” I spit the words out in time with my thrusts, wishing I could have lasted all night, but I felt my orgasm building fast. The ache in my balls, heavy with cum, made me thrust harder and faster until Ryan cried out, his body going tense in my arms.
“I–I’m…Cary,” he whined, and I tightened my grip on his hips, sinking my cock deep. I seized his lips as I came to keep from calling out his name, groaning into his mouth as his hole twitched, milking my dick dry. I stayed put inside his warm body, kissing him slowly, sensually, taking my time with his mouth.
“Damn, your body is addicting. Can’t get enough.” I peppered his neck and collarbone with open-mouthed kisses, sucking but not hard enough to bruise. His soft skin smelled of citrus and sandalwood, and I regretted having to pull away from his warmth. I straightened up and my dick, now soft, slipped out, resting wet and cold against my thigh. With one last kiss pressed to his sweet lips, I sought out the guest bathroom in the hall to wash up, grabbing my clothes from the floor on my way.
My mind swirled with worst-case scenarios. What if Ryan said he regretted it? What if things became weird between us and it created distance? That was the last thing I wanted. In the last couple of weeks, I’d become dependent on his friendship. When I laid in bed, lonely and bored, and he texted back and forth with me. Or when I needed a favor, and he came running. I’d definitely come to rely on seeing him at the bar on Friday and Saturday nights. Even if he was entertaining another man, his eyes always strayed to me, seeking me out.
I couldn’t lose that. Ryan was smart and kind. Funny without even trying to be. He understood my humor and justified all of my bad ideas. He was just easy to be with. And, damn, could that man fuck! He blew my mind. It was like he became someone else when his clothes came off.
He became my wettest fucking dream.
I couldn’t hide in the bathroom all night in hopes of escaping an awkward situation, so I dried off my hands, smirking at the hand towel embroidered with Ryan’s initials, and stepped into the hall. To my great relief, Ryan had no intention of making things weird between us. He waited for me on the couch, a cold bottle of water sitting on a coaster on his coffee table, waiting for me as he flipped through the channels on the television. He had changed into navy sweats and a white t-shirt, looking relaxed and delicious with his feet tucked beneath him, blond hair tousled and lips still plump from my kisses.
My Boytoy really was the total package. Unfortunately, he would neverreallybe mine. We came from two separate worlds, miles apart. Ryan was looking for a high-class kind of guy, like him, and I wasn’t looking for a guy at all. I sighed, thinking it just wasn’t meant to be, and nestled into his plush sofa, pulling him into my arms. He came willingly, a soft sigh on his lips as he snuggled into my chest. I pressed a kiss to the top of his head.
“You’re amazing, you know that?”
He looked up at me, his big blue eyes round and hopeful. “Yeah?”
“Mmhmm. It won’t be long before you find the right guy. He’ll snatch you off your feet before you even know it.”
I didn’t miss his crestfallen expression or how his thin shoulders slumped. I couldn’t tell if it was because he didn’t believe me, or because he was disappointed it wasn’t going to be me. But that didn’t make any sense. I’d never be good enough to land a guy like Ryan. That just wasn’t my fate.
He deserved money and breeding, connections and manners. Someone with class. I’d never be a gentleman. I couldn’t even pull it off if I pretended.
I was beer and wings and classic rock music. Vintage cars and a sink full of dishes. Hell, I’d been known to wear the same shirt two days in a row just to avoid having to do laundry. Ryan would hate my world, and I would certainly never fit into his.
The most we could ever be was friends. This friends with benefits thing had to stop, sooner rather than later. I was just confusing the already messy situation between us by pulling my dick out every time he batted his pretty eyes at me. The handful of years between us meant that I had probably learned a thing or two that Ryan hadn’t. It meant that I needed to be the voice of reason. I had to say good night to him and drag my sorry ass home.
Alone.
I shifted his weight off of me so I could stand, and Ryan figured out that I was leaving. “You’re welcome to stay. It’s late and you’re tired.”
Warmth pooled in my belly. Not desire, particularly, but a fuzzy feeling I didn’t feel often. Leaning in, I kissed his cheek.
“Thank you for the invitation, Sweetness. But I need to get going. I’ll check in with you tomorrow.”
With another kiss pressed to his forehead, I lingered for a moment, inhaling the peaches and sugar scent of his shampoo before walking out the door.
I tried to distract myself from thoughts of him as I drove home, turning the radio up loud and rolling the windows down to feel the breeze kiss my face, but nothing worked. How could something that felt so right and good be so wrong? I felt like I was stealing the crown jewels every time I touched him. Sneaking furtive glances of a man I shouldn’t be allowed to look at, as if he was married or underage. Coveting kisses that belonged to someone else.
It had to stop. What I needed was to get laid. And not by Ryan. They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, and I planned to test that theory fully. As soon as possible.
* * *
I slept in late,having slept like shit the night before as I tossed and turned for hours. By the time I made it downstairs for coffee, my brother and my cousin were already seated at the little table, digging into a stack of pancakes. The smell of crisp, savory bacon filled the air, making my mouth water and my empty stomach rumble.
“Morning,” I grumbled.
Carly, a disgustingly annoying morning person, my complete opposite, smiled brightly. “I saved you coffee. And there’s plenty of bacon and pancakes for you. Grab a plate.”
Gordy, ever silent and brooding, eyed me over the rim of his mug.
“What?” What the hell was his problem?
“Nothing. You got in awfully late last night.”
“What are you, my keeper?” I became even more annoyed when Carly set his fork down and turned to watch me as I poured a cup of coffee.
