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“Youtalked about it,” I reply then move on to the real issue here. “I know you want to protect me but I have to face the music eventually. Your boss wants his pound of flesh, and I want my pub back. We should get on with it.”
“It’s too soon,” he argues. “End of discussion.”
I lie down beside him. “It’ll always be too soon for you.”
He rolls over to cup my chin in his hand. “I love you. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I know that. I love you, too. And I trust you.”
“Jenna…”
I lay my hand over his lips. “I’m scared. I won’t deny that, but we both know how this will end. You’ve no choice, and neither do I.”
“I could speak to Ethan again.”
“And say what? That I’m scared and you don’t want to do it?”
“Something along those lines,” he admits, grudgingly.
“Not happening. And the longer this drags on, the longer I’m away from my pub. My home. And the more scared I become. This could all have been over by now.”
“You think I should have taken a cane to you while you were still in plaster and covered in bruises?”
“The bruising disappeared a week ago,” I point out.
“Jenna—”
“No. Listen to me. Please.” I draw in a breath, then plough on. “Ever since you told me what your boss said, what he ordered you to do, I’ve been dreading it.”
“Obviously.”
“But it’s not going away. It gets no better for being delayed. I just want it over. I want my life back, and I can’t go back to the Hope until this is done.”
“Ethan didn’t say that.”
“We both know it’s what he expects.”
“Maybe, but—”
“No more buts. I want to put all this behind me and move on. Please, don’t drag it out any more.”
He groans and reaches for me, but I back off. “Are you listening to me?”
“I’m trying not to.”
“You know I’m right.”
He glares at me. “Do you think that makes me any happier?”
“That makes two of us.”
He remains silent. Eventually, “Okay. Fuck, okay.”
This is what I wanted, but I have a moment of panic all the same. I squash the impulse to put it off a bit longer, even though I know nothing would please him more. I’ve been dreading this moment, but I wonder if he’s been anticipating it with even less enthusiasm.
He sits up. “You win. Fuck first, cane after?”
“No. The other way round. That way I have something to look forward to.”
