AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Pacing backand forth in front of my locker, my heart hammers in my chest as adrenaline continues to surge through my body. Raking my hands through my hair, I tug at the strands and pull them in frustration as Logan’s words continue to play over in my mind. As much as I don’t want to admit it, he was right. I don’t know Ava as well as he does, and I will never be able to compete with what they had.
He knows things about her that I don’t, and the fact that she still refuses to open up makes me think that she either doesn’t trust me or that my role in her life is not important enough for her to let me in all the way. He was her first love, and she hasn’t denied still loving him. And as much as it kills me, I know he still holds a part of her that I don’t.
I want all of her, but the reality is I only have half. And knowing that the other half still belongs to him is tearing me apart bit by bit. I can’t share her, and I won’t. She has my soul, and I want hers in return. I’m in so deep I feel like I’m drowning half the time, and I have no control over it.
I love her.
I’m so fucking in love with her, and that first time we made love was the first time I ever allowed myself to be vulnerable with anyone. Every moment we have shared has meant everything to me, and the thought of that being nothing more than some fling to her makes my gut twist to the point of pain. It makes me feel a weakness I have never felt before, and I’m powerless against it.
I have spent the better part of my life being ridiculed by the assholes in this school. I have been called a nerd, a weirdo, and a freak countless times but not once has any of the insults I’ve had thrown at me ever penetrated through the protective shield I keep firmly in place. No one has ever managed to break through and test my strength like this.
No one but Ava.
She has unknowingly found the cracks in that shield and burrowed her way in, breaking it open and exposing weaknesses and insecurities I didn’t even know I had. This newfound weakness is crippling and blinding me to the point of being unbearable.
Opening my locker, I grab my keys then slam it shut.
Fuck this place.
Fuck everyone.
I’m going home.
Ava may call me her Superman, well she is my goddamn kryptonite.
* * *
After pacingmy room for two hours straight and still unable to calm myself down, I give up and change my clothes, heading straight down into the basement to work off some steam.
Lifting weights until my muscles fatigue, I then move onto a round of sparring with the punching bag.
The basement door bangs shut, and footsteps descend the stairs, and I turn to see Ava standing at the bottom, frowning as she takes in my disheveled state.
“Hey,” she says with a hint of uncertainty.
“Hey,” I reply, walking over and grabbing a towel, wiping the sweat from my face.
“What happened to you today? You didn’t show up at the library, and when I asked Grant where you were, he said you didn’t show up for physics either.”
“I needed a break.”
“What’s wrong?” Her brows draw in deeper at my abrupt tone.
“Why do you care?”
Her head jolts back like I slapped her. “Why wouldn’t I care?”
“Oh, come on, Ava.” I chuckle bitterly, giving her a pointed look. “It’s not like I’m anyone important. Definitely not anyone important enough for you to care about. I’m just your dirty little secret, right? The one you like to keep hidden in the janitor’s closet?”
“Mason. What the fuck? Of course, you are important to me. You know why we have to keep things a secret. Logan—”
“Fuck him!” I bark. “I told you I can handle him, but you don’t believe me and if I really am that important to you, then prove it! Prove it right now, Ava! Tell me what Hadley said to you.”
“Mason. I—”
“Why didn’t you want me to take you to the hospital that day?” I interrupt her, not willing to listen to excuses for why she won’t answer the question by firing off another.
“I told you. Logan’s mother was already there. It—”
