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Her head drops, refusing to look at me, and I gently lift her chin until her eyes meet mine. She stares back at me, her brilliant blues dull and lifeless.
“I’m so sorry, baby.”
Her resolve starts to crumble as her eyes well up with tears.
“Tell me what you need. Anything, and it’s yours.”
She lets out a shuddering breath as a tear falls, then softly whispers in a desperate plea, “Peace.”
* * *
An hour later,we are sitting on the dock with our feet dangling over the edge, watching the last of the sun’s incandescent rays gradually dissolve into the darkness of the emerging night sky.
The drive here was in silence, and even though I had many questions, I wanted to give her a chance to breathe. I wanted to give her a moment of peace after witnessing what she was going through.
“How long has your mother been an alcoholic?” I ask softly, finally breaking the silence. The evening breeze gently sweeps strands of her golden hair away from her face as she watches the water deep in thought.
“Six years.” She lets out a weary sigh. “She started drinking after Blake died, I guess in a way to cope with pain. Over the years, her drinking has progressively got worse, what you saw today is a normal occurrence for her.”
Fucking hell that is anything but normal.
“She tried to hit you. Has she ever done that before?”
“Sometimes,” she murmurs, still appearing detached. “Most of the time, she is too drunk to actually strike me, but she has caught me off guard a few times.”
“What about your father? Why doesn’t he do something?”
She scoffs bitterly. “His way of dealing with it is by never being home. He has tried to get her to rehab for years but has given up. I rarely see him now, and when I do, it’s late at night when she has already passed out.”
Reaching over, I take her hand and link my fingers with hers. “Why didn’t you want to tell me? You know you can tell me anything, right?”
She nods. “I know. I just wanted to hold off for as long as I could. Your home is so full of love and laughter whereas mine—” She pauses, taking a breath before continuing. “Is cold and empty. She’s not an easy person to deal with. Logan couldn’t handle it, and I grew up with him. We haven’t been together long, and I was worried that you wouldn’t be able to cope with it.”
“I’m not him.”
“I know. I didn’t want you to look at me differently or pity me. When I’m with you, it feels as though the sun is shining on me, even on a cloudy day. I guess I just wanted more time to bask in your warmth before we had to deal with the cold reality of my complicated life.”
I give her hand a gentle squeeze. “I would never pity you. But I do see you differently.”
She looks at me with a frown.
“I see you as one of the strongest people I have ever met. You have suffered a tragic loss, but you still manage to get up every day and fight for your place in this world. You suffer from the abuse of a mother who is supposed to love and protect you, yet you still show kindness to people when others don’t. You haven’t let the darkness in your world change the person you are, and that is strength, baby. That is someone to be admired, not pitied.”
Her bottom lip trembles, and blinking back tears, she looks back out to the water. “You are important to me, you know that, right? I only kept us a secret to protect you. I didn’t want Logan to hurt you.”
“He knows about us.”
Her eyes swing my way, wide with shock. “He knows? How?…” Her eyes narrow as realization hits. “Lily.”
I nod my head and run my fingers through my hair. I’m not going to tell her about the fight; it’s an added stress she doesn’t need right now.
Besides, I will deal with that asshole myself.
“Lyndsey knows too. I told her last week.”
I release a heavy sigh. I wish she had told me this. I was quick to blame Lily, but maybe she did keep her word. “Do you think it was Lyndsey and not Lily that told him?”
“No.” She shakes her head adamantly. “Lyndsey wouldn’t do that.”
