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Louis
PLAYLIST: ? MARVIN’S ROOM - DRAKE ?
I’mhappy returning to Gio’s main crew. It’s the best news I’ve received in a long time—other than Gio and Falynn patching up their marriage in the first place. The past several years have felt like I’ve been unable to catch a break, but things might finally be looking up.
Ma used to always say I was a pretty positive little boy. A glass half-full kinda kid.
Guess it’s carried over into adulthood.
I’m looking on the bright side as weeks go by and I find an apartment a few miles from Gio’s estate. Close enough to be able to report for duty within minutes, but still far enough away that when I’m off work I can feel like I have a life of my own.
Not that I have much of one right now though.
I give it a shot. I go out with some guys from the crew. We hit up the local bars and clubs. I even meet a cute girl and buy her some drinks. She comes home with me and we have a good time together, but when morning rolls around, I know I’ll never see her again.
Some women just want the experience of screwing a mafia guy. They’re uninterested in the baggage that comes with anything more. It’s all a fantasy for them. Once that fantasy’s fulfilled, it’s on to the next one.
I’ve been in this cycle before—workday spent beating up cazzos, night life spent tossing back drinks and blowing cash, early morning hours walking out whatever chick I’ve picked up and brought home.
The cycle gets old fast. Guys like Fozzi enjoy it. They can do it forever.
Me? I’d rather be chilling at home… with my girl. Hard to do when you don’t have one.
After two years mostly single—I don’t count the hook ups or the go nowhere dates I’ve been on—Ishouldbe used to it.
But all I can think about is Tasha and the most recent time we saw each other.
It was less than ideal considering Falynn had called on me and Gio after Tasha had a violent altercation with her client, Kilroy. Gio and I handled the situation in typical mafia intimidation fashion—we made Kilroy piss his pants, knocked out the entire front row of his teeth, and threatened him within an inch of his life should he ever lay a finger on her again.
Tasha and I didn’t get much alone time. The time we did get, we argued.
She tends to be defensive when she thinks she’s being pitied. She has a thing about being treated like a victim. I get it, but it gets frustrating because it means she’s dead set against receiving any sort of help.
In Tasha’s mind, help means she owes you something.
That she must provide aservice… or pay in some other way.
The sadder part is that she gives so much, so often. She gives to her siblings. She gives to her addict, abusive, ungrateful Mom. She gave Miss Falynn as much help as possible when they worked together at the Dollhouse. She gave me her love when she finally did let her walls down.
Yet she won’t allow anyone to do the same for her.
I can’t force her to accept better though. As much as it frustrates me, it’s something I’ve got to let go. Easier said than done, but that’s where trying to have a night life comes in. I go out with the guys, I meet other women, even if in the back of my mind there’s only one I’mreallythinking of.
“Lou, you good?” Gio asks one night when I’m over at his estate for dinner. Occasionally, he and Falynn invite me over after work. He comes up beside me and puts his arm around my shoulders to guide me into the den. “How about a drink? You don’t have any plans tonight, do you?”
“Fozzi and the guys were going out to Axis later. I’ll probably pass up. You opening the good stuff?” I gesture to the ALCOHOL HERE that Gio grabs off the shelf of his minibar.
He pours a drink for me and then a second for himself. I’m familiar enough with Gio to know when he wants to discuss something—he breaks out the good alcohol and invites you to have a seat for a one-on-one.
It’s the same whether work-related or more personal stuff.
In tonight’s case, I’m willing to bet it’s something personal. During dinner, I caught him and Falynn exchanging glances. They’re a true unit, the kind of husband and wife that communicates with simple looks.
“How’s the baby-making coming along?” I ask, sipping from my scotch.
He shrugs, dropping down onto the sofa opposite mine. “We haven’t really been paying much mind. We’re going with the flow. Just enjoying each other.”
I grin. “That sounds like a great new strategy.”
