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“So help me get it, Tasha,” Louis says as we run into another red light. “You’re a mystery to everybody. You’ve been best friends with Falynn for how many years and she knows little to nothing about your family.”
“That’s because I’m not proud of my family. Except Zara and Ramon. Whom I’ve told her about. I don’t give a fuck about anybody else.”
He scrubs a hand over his exhausted face, his eyes bloodshot. “Sorry if I’m lecturing. You have no idea how pissed I was when I realized that cazzo took you, kitty cat. Then I felt hurt you didn’t trust me enough.”
“I’ve trusted you more than I’ve ever trusted any other guy. Except Big D. But that obviously was a toxic judgment call. You’ve gotten more out of me than anybody, Louis. Isn’t that enough?”
“You’re right. We can take things slow. This can be a new start for us.”
Louis reaches over and scoops my free hand up in his. His thumb runs over my knuckles in comfort, but unease flutters inside me instead.
The rest of the drive is in silence. Louis nods off. I’m lost in my head, thinking about everything that’s happened over the past few weeks. The situation today with D showing up and dragging me off to the dessert replays in graphic detail.
Even my conversation just now with Louis.
The flutter inside my stomach grows worse.
I release a deep sigh as I pull into a parking space at the parking garage of the Vittoria Resort and Casino.
“Wake up, big guy. We’re here.”
He snorts and sits up with groggy, heavy-lidded eyes. “Damn, I nodded off. You coming?”
“I can’t.”
I twist off the key in the ignition and hand it over.
Louis gapes at the key and then up at me. “I’m confused. We’re going up to the penthouse, Tasha.”
With a shake of my head, I say, “I’m calling an Uber. I’m going to stay somewhere else. It’s not the right time for us to start seeing each other again.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
“I wouldn’t joke like that.”
“You gotta be ‘cuz that makes no damn sense!” he snaps, his brow pinched. “Do you realize you’ve spent the last two years putting our relationship on ice—a relationship we were both very happy in don’t even fucking deny it, Tasha—and now that the biggest obstacle holding you back is eliminated, you still don’t want to give it a shot?!”
“I have my reasons.”
He hacks out a bitter laugh. “I bet you do. You love being miserable. That’s the reason.”
“Think whatever you want, Louis.”
“You refuse to let yourself be happy. It’s like you’re allergic to it.” He blows out a frustrated breath. The exhaustion and heartbreak is written all over his face.
I can’t even be mad at him—it’s been a long ass twenty-four hours. He’s had three ribs broken and his head cracked open. He thought with D gone we could finally be together only for me to reveal that’s not the case.
But this is for the best. Even if Louis doesn’t understand right now.
“Take care of yourself, big guy,” I say, grabbing my purse. “You deserve a woman with her shit together. That’s… not me. Not right now. I’m sorry.”
Louis ignores me as I exit the SUV. He’s pissed and doesn’t even want to look in my direction.
As I walk away, I can’t blame him.
TWENTY-ONE
Louis
