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Again, Keir chuckled and yet did not comment on her fluttering nerves. “My mother chided me for staying away for so long while my father complained about Grandma Edie’s secret keeping.” The expression upon his face sobered, grew into something sweet and almost tender. “Yet they understood once they knew what had happened and why I had stayed.”
A part of Sarah wished she could have been there to see their faces and hear their replies. Always had Keir done his utmost to ease her mind, and every once in a while, Sarah wondered how truthfully he recounted events and reactions. Had his concern for her ever urged him to alter the retelling of events?
“There’s nothing for ye to worry about, lass. Ye and yer sister, as well as the three wee ones, are safe here.” He grasped her chin and looked deep into her eyes. “As I knew she would, my grandmother didna hesitate to answer Grandma Edie’s call. So long as ye are here with us, ye will have the protection of the MacKinnears.”
Tears blurred Sarah’s vision; her heart deeply touched. And yet there was still that part of her that always doubted and questioned and wondered why Keir’s grandmother had agreed. Had it truly been out of sheer duty? Out of respect for Grandma Edie, perhaps? Or were the MacKinnears truly the kind of people who so easily opened their hearts to others?
Sarah wanted to believe so, and yet she had had far too many experiences, met far too many people who cared very little about anyone but themselves.
“Get some sleep, little wisp,” Keir murmured, gently trailing his fingers down her temple before his hand slipped to the back of her neck, once more pulling her closer. “I shall see ye in the morning.” He dipped his head and kissed her gently, then pressed his forehead to hers for another few heartbeats as they breathed in the same air. “Good night.”
The moment Keir stepped away and then out the door, Sarah felt cold. Always had she regretted his absence, but lately it felt like a deep ache in her chest, growing more acute and painful with each day. “I love you, Keir,” Sarah whispered, cursing herself for not having had the courage to tell him. Would he have returned her affections?
‘Even if he does care for you,’ her mother’s voice suddenly snapped in her head, and Sarah flinched, ‘his family will never accept you! They will want a Scottish bride for their son. Someone from their own clan.’ Sarah could all but see her mother’s face in her mind, her brows drawn down in a disapproving scowl. ‘You’re a fool!’
Tears filled Sarah’s eyes. “Go away!” she told the voice, anger tightening her jaw. “Your advice never served me. After all, you never cared for me. Not truly.” Feeling utterly lost, Sarah sank to the floor in front of the fireplace, her limbs suddenly weak, her body exhausted. “Why can you never encourage me? Make me believe and trust?” Hanging her head, Sarah closed her eyes, grateful for the soft touch of the fire’s warmth reaching out to her. “Couldn’t you have stood by my side just once?”
A soft touch upon her arm made Sarah open her eyes, and she found herself looking at Loki. The feline sat before her, his amber eyes widened and directed at her, something almost gentle upon his features. For a moment, he remained still, as though studying her. Then he moved toward her, brushing his face against her arm and purring softly.
With tears still clinging to her eyelashes, Sarah smiled, drawing Loki into her arms. “Thank you,” she murmured into his fur, hugging him to her chest. “I don’t know what I would ever do without you.” She lifted her head and looked into his amber eyes. “Don’t ever leave me. Promise?”
A faint meow drifted to her ears, and Sarah rested her forehead against Loki’s little head as he continued to purr, the soft rumble in his throat soothing her rattled nerves. “I love you,” Sarah whispered to the little feline. “If only I could have told Keir.”
Chapter Eighteen
SIMPLY GONE
The moment Keir closed the door to Sarah’s chamber behind him, he knew that something had been on her mind, something she had not said. He had all but seen her desire to speak, to confide in him whatever lingered upon her mind, and yet she had not. Again, concerns and doubts had crowded her thoughts; Keir had seen it plain as day.
For a moment, he had been tempted to press her. Still, perhaps all she needed was some more time, time to realize that good things happened after all and that they were not inevitably followed by something life-shattering.
Although fatigue weighed heavily upon him, Keir decided to see to the horses before finding his own chamber. Autumn, especially, always felt uneasy in unknown places, and he wanted to reassure the mare.
Venturing back downstairs, Keir stepped into the great hall. The place held many wonderful memories of Yuletide seasons and sweeping banquets as well as spring festivals and spooky All Hallows Eves. He could not help but imagine Katherine’s three little ones among the children of the clan, and he smiled. Perhaps everything had happened the way it had been meant to. Perhaps Sarah and her sister had always belonged here, and everything they had done these past few months had played right into Fate’s hands.
Keir rather liked that thought. He liked it very much.
Focusing his thoughts, Keir made to cross the hall when he suddenly heard footsteps fast approaching from the other side. He angled his head toward the front entrance and spotted a young woman sprinting toward him. Her dark hair was streaming down her shoulders, and the light from the fire in the hearth flickered across her soft features.
“Kenna!” Keir exclaimed in a laugh. “Ye look as though hellhounds are lapping at yer heels! Where are ye off to in such a hur—?”
Without stopping, Kenna flung herself into his arms, hugging him tightly. Her breath came fast beside his ear, and he could feel the flushed warmth of her skin.
“Is something the matter, lass?” Keir asked, chuckling. He tried to look into her face, his hands settling upon her arms and urging her back. “Why are ye out this late?”
Kenna huffed out a long breath, her cheeks flushed and her brown eyes dancing with eagerness. “Why would ye ask such a silly question, Keir MacKinnear?” she snapped, slapping his shoulder. “Ye left without a word and returned just the same.”
Keir grinned at her. “’Tis been only a several months, and yet ye act as though ye havena seen me in decades.”
The smile Keir expected did not come. Instead, Kenna lowered her chin, her eyes closing briefly as she drew in a slow breath. When she looked at him again, tears clung to her lashes.
Keir stilled, his gaze narrowing as he reached out a hand to place upon her shoulder. “What’s the matter, lass? Did Eoghan send ye? Is it Bonnie?” Keir remembered well the last time Kenna had come to the castle in the middle of the night. Bonnie had run a terrifyingly high fever, and Eoghan had sent her to fetch help.
Kenna shook her head, and Keir breathed a sigh of relief.
“What then?”
At his repeated question, Kenna’s lips seemed to thin, anger flaring in her eyes. “I missed ye!” she snapped, glaring at him. “Is that truly such a far-fetched notion to ye?” She gave his chest an angry shove—as she did when she was frustrated or furious with him. “Ye left so abruptly, I didna even have the chance to bid ye farewell.”
