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Sarah shook her head, casting a quick glance at her sister. Kate looked equally at a loss, uncertain how to behave, all her training failing her; after all, it had never meant to carry her to such a distant place.
“Well, I suppose Scots are perhaps a bit louder than the English,” Keir’s father remarked, making them all laugh and nod in agreement.
Keir smiled at Sarah, squeezing her hand reassuringly. “Breathe, little wisp,” he murmured near her ear.
“I’m not so certain that is true,” Keir’s grandmother remarked in that quiet yet attention-demanding voice of hers. “In my experience, the English are just as loud, only they would never admit to it.”
Again, booming laughter echoed through the hall, and even Sarah felt the corners of her mouth twitch with amusement. In what ways the English differed from the Scots, she could not be certain. However, these people reminded her of the family she had always wished to be a part of—the Whickertons. Indeed, there was kindness here and affection, the urge to tease but not to offend. It was a precious balance, one that Sarah cherished because she had never known it in her own family. Indeed, perhaps it had been wise to come here. Perhaps this was, indeed, the place for them. If only they were wanted here.Are we?
Chapter Twenty-Two
LETTING GO
Kate felt her heart beat wildly in her chest as she stared wide-eyed at her surroundings. She saw people everywhere, unfamiliar faces looking back at her, smiling at her. Her ears rang with the noise, and yet part of her did not wish for it to stop, for it warmed her deep inside in a way she had not known in a long time. She could almost feel herself swaying along to the sound of the music, her feet tapping beneath the table, enraptured by the joy she saw on people’s faces, their eagerness for life, for happiness. Once she had known it as well. Once she had been like Augusta and Dorothea, stealing away with their new friend, sneaking treats and finding a place to hide out and watch the proceedings in the hall.
Indeed, Kate remembered moments like these from her own childhood. She had loved them beyond everything. They had been those very few moments that had truly made her feel alive and wish for just such a future of her own.
Seated at the large table, Frederica in her arms, Kate watched the hall, the dancers, the musicians, everyone. Keir’s family did their utmost to make them feel welcome, offering drinks and food and asking after their journey. She saw Sarah relax, Keir’s hand upon hers, reassuring and calm. A part of Kate wished he would do the same for her.
“Yer two eldest are quite the little rascals themselves, are they not?” Eoghan remarked with a grin. He was seated beside her at the table, his green eyes full of mirth as he looked at her.
Still, Kate paused, her eyes upon his face. Only too well did she remember her mother-in-law’s chiding comments, criticizing her daughters’ behavior. “I apologize,” she quickly said, making to rise from the table. “Perhaps I should—”
Eoghan’s hand touched her arm, stilling her every move. “No, ye misunderstand,” he interrupted, nodding to her to sit back down. “What I said was meant as a compliment, I assure ye.” He looked over his shoulder to where Bonnie pulled Augusta and Dorothea onto the dance floor. Holding each other’s hands, they twirled around in a circle, laughing and singing.
Settling back upon her chair, Kate shifted Frederica from one arm into the other. Her youngest seemed quite content with watching the scene around her as well, her blue eyes wide open.
Lifting her gaze from her child, Kate looked across at Keir’s friend. Turned away from her and toward the dancers, Kate could only see his face in profile.
A smile curled up his lips, wistfulness in his eyes as he watched his little girl. “She’s a wild one,” Eoghan said with a chuckle, deep affection in his voice. “She goes where she wants and does what she pleases.” He turned to look back at Kate. “And I wouldna dream of taking that from her.” He shrugged almost helplessly, that wide smile still upon his face. “Yet sometimes I wish she were a little more careful.”
Kate nodded, understanding his concern. While Augusta and Dorothea had never done anything adventurous, she knew what it meant to fear for them. Seeing them tonight, with their eyes and cheeks aglow, playing and laughing, children their age by their side, Kate knew she would do everything within her power to ensure they would always be this happy. Not long ago, thoughts of happiness had seemed like a fairytale. Now, though, they played out before her very eyes.
Kate blinked, afraid that what she saw was nothing more than a mirage.
Perhaps caught up by the music and the dancing around her, Frederica suddenly began waving her little fists about. She squealed and cooed delightedly. Then she grasped one of Kate’s curls and tugged upon it rather strongly.
“Let me hold her,” Eoghan offered, holding out his hands to receive Frederica. “Ye havena had a chance to eat anything.”
At the expectant expression in his eyes, Kate froze, staring at him. The thought of handing over her child paralyzed her. She knew it to be foolish, but she could not help it. She could not make her muscles move or her heart stop hammering in her chest.
“Kate, are you all right?” came Sarah’s concerned voice, her sister’s hand settling gently upon her shoulder.
Kate swallowed. “I’m all right,” she managed to say, struggling to contain Frederica’s sudden exuberance.
Sarah nodded, quickly drawn back into the conversation with Keir and his parents. She seemed almost at ease; her smile genuine. Keir’s hand held hers, their fingers intertwined.
Kate swallowed hard.
“When Bonnie was born,” Eoghan began, and the sound of his soft voice jarred Kate out of her thoughts, making her turn her head to look at him, “I had a hard time getting my wife to let me hold her.” He smiled at her. “Believe me, I know how protective new mothers are of their children, and rightly so.” His gaze drifted lower and settled upon Frederica’s face, a smile coming to his own that was unique to parents. It held that deep sense of utter devotion to this new life, the understanding that all of a sudden, nothing and no one else mattered more.
Kate heaved a deep sigh, willing the panic to subside, reminding herself that this was a new place, a different place. Not everyone was like her husband and her mother-in-law.
Eoghan’s gaze met hers, understanding in his green eyes. “Ye needa eat, lass. Ye needa keep yer strength, especially if ye wanta keep up with that wee one and her two sisters.” He held up his hand, as though swearing a solemn oath. “I promise that I willna move from this spot. Ye have my word.”
For a long moment, Kate held his gaze, unable to decide, unable to take this sudden leap of faith. She knew Eoghan was right, and yet this was hard. She heaved a deep breath and then slowly loosened her hold on Frederica. Try as she might, she could not bring herself to hand her over, though.
And then Eoghan suddenly moved closer. He held out his hands toward Frederica, and as though the two were in league with one another, Frederica reached out toward him as well.
