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After all, Keir belonged here in Scotland.
At Kenna’s side.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
CHOICES
Only a few days had passed since their arrival at Castle MacKinnear, and already the girls seemed to have settled in fine. Keir often saw them sneak treats from the kitchen with Bonnie or read stories in the library or run along the hills and down to the beach, Loki upon their heels. Every once in a while, children from the village joined in; however, the three girls—Augusta, Dorothea and Bonnie—had become as thick as thieves.
One afternoon, Keir was walking down a corridor and then came around a corner when he heard someone giggling. He paused, his gaze sweeping over the curtained off alcove when he saw Thea peak out, a finger to her lips, urging him to be quiet.
Smiling at the girl, Keir nodded at her reassuringly and then walked on as he heard the other two girls drawing closer. He was about to turn another corner when Loki suddenly crossed his path.
As was his habit, the feline once again appeared as though out of nowhere, seating himself by Keir’s feet, his chin raised and his amber eyes looking up at him, a rather chiding look upon his face.
“Where have ye been?” Keir asked Loki, overcome as always that he felt compelled to speak to the cat.
Unfortunately, Loki did not respond. He simply continued looking at Keir in that way of his, and Keir had to admit he would not have been surprised if Loki had suddenly started shaking his head at him.
Keir chuckled. “What did I do? It must’ve been something awful, for ye clearly disapprove of it.” He cocked his head to the side, watching the feline most intently. “I must say that look upon yer face is rather unsettling.”
As though satisfied that his message had been received, Loki hopped to his paws and then darted away down the corridor, vanishing once more.
Chuckling, Keir headed downstairs and then entered the great hall, momentarily surprised to see Katherine—Frederica in her arms as always—and Kenna sitting by the fire and talking. A quick glance around told Keir that Sarah was nowhere nearby, and he wondered where she had gone. Lately, she seemed distant to him, and he worried that something might have upset her.
Fortunately, Katherine seemed to grow more and more accustomed to this new life, her demeanor now more relaxed than before. She no longer looked as fearful and apprehensive, able to relax her grip upon her daughters a bit more every day. Though, while she allowed Augusta and Dorothea to move about the castle freely—not that she had much choice!—she always kept Frederica by her side. Thus far, only Eoghan had managed to persuade her to hand over the child for brief moments at a time. There was still fear there, Keir knew. Yet he hoped that with time, Katherine would regain some faith in the world.
Pleased to see that Kenna was doing her best to help Katherine settle in, Keir smiled at her gratefully as he stepped closer. “Have ye seen Sarah?”
Katherine shook her head, and Kenna shrugged. “Perhaps she’s simply exploring the castle or the grounds beyond,” Kenna suggested, patting the seat beside her invitingly. “Come. Join us.”
Sighing, Keir took the seat, his thoughts once again drawn to Sarah, and the overshadowed expression he had seen upon her face lately. He thought perhaps deep down she missed her home, missed England and the Whickertons, the life she used to have. More than that, he worried that, perhaps, Sarah might not want to remain in Scotland for good.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
SECOND NATURE
In the past few days, Sarah had taken to walking the countryside, finding the solitude of being outdoors comforting. The castle and the grounds seemed too crowded all of a sudden, full of people Sarah did not know, people who smiled at her and greeted her… and now that had made her wonder about all the many things she was simply not a part of. They had had their lives, and she had had hers, and it felt as though they were miles apart.
Over her shoulder, Sarah watched the castle grow smaller with every step she took in the opposite direction. Somewhere inside were Keir and Kenna, not necessarily together in that moment, and yet to Sarah, that did not matter.
Try as she might, she could not shake the thought of the two of them, of the life they had shared, of the life that Kenna clearly still wanted. But what of Keir?
Of course, Sarah felt her heart unwavering. She knew what she wanted. She knew she loved Keir. She knew that she wanted a future with him. And until that day in the library when she had spoken with Kenna, Sarah had been almost certain that Keir wanted that, too, that he… loved her as well. And now doubts returned, and Sarah hated them. She wished she could simply chase them away and return to that state of tentative hopefulness. It had felt so wonderful to have faith, to expect good things to happen in the future.
Now, dark clouds lingered again, the same dark clouds that had been with her all her life. She knew she simply ought to ask Keir, speak to him and find out what was truly between him and Kenna. Had they been in love before he had left Scotland? Did he still love her? Or had things changed for him?
Yet she was uncertain if she was ready to find out.
Sarah had never truly dwelt upon the possibility that Keir had loved before, that there might have even been someone waiting for him to return home.I am a fool!Of course, a man like Keir was spoken for, had stolen hearts and known love.How could it be any different?Yet it had been so wonderful to think of the bond between them as unique, as one of a kind, something that came along once in a lifetime.
‘You foolish child,’ snapped her mother’s voice in her head, and Sarah jerked to a halt, completely caught off guard. ‘You acted despicably, and you expect to win hearts with such behavior? No, a decent man would never choose you.’
A furious growl rose from Sarah’s lips as she pressed her hands to her ears as though that might shut out the voice. Would she hear it until the end of her days? Would her mother forever encourage her doubts? Would she never be free of them?
“He cares for me,” Sarah whispered to the wind as she pushed onward, following the path to wherever it might lead her. “I know he does. He said so himself. I should not doubt him. I should not doubt what is between us.”
Yet the thoughts continued to come, suggesting that what had happened between her and Keir was simply one of those things that happened when two people were thrown together in close proximity. Of course, Sarah would not know from experience. She knew nothing of love or men. Perhaps she truly had allowed herself to be fooled.
