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“Are ye apprehensive about sharing a bed?” Keir asked, his voice gentle; yet the clasp of his fingers upon her chin remained insistent.
Sarah looked up at him nervously. “We’ve shared a bed before,” she replied as her face went up in flames, heat searing her skin as though a fire engulfed her whole.
“Aye,” Keir murmured, and she felt his gaze linger upon her heated cheeks. “Yet never in that way.” His eyes looked into hers, and Sarah was surprised when she suddenly saw a touch of unease flare up. “Do ye know…?” he broke off, drew in a slow breath, and began again. “Has yer mother ever spoken to ye of—?”
Understanding his concern, Sarah broke free of his grasp, her feet carrying her to the other side of the chamber. “I don’t want to speak of it,” she declared, lifting her chin and meeting his eyes.
A frown drew down Keir’s brows. “Why not?”
Sarah swallowed, determinedly pushing the memory his question had conjured from her mind. “Because… Because it will not be like that, will it?”No, it will not!
Keir stilled; his gaze trained upon her. “Yer mother did speak to ye,” he murmured, then nodded as he moved toward her. “Aye, of course she did. The night Ikidnappedye was the night before yer wedding.”
Sarah nodded, remembering the distant look in her mother’s eyes. There had been no concern for her daughter in her heart. She had merely performed a duty, informing Sarah in a few brisk and rather emotionless words of what to expect from her future husband. “She said it would be… painful and degrading and,” she swallowed hard, struggling to hold Keir’s gaze, “awful.” Her hands clenched. “Yet I would have to endure it as any wife must.”
Anger sparked in Keir’s gaze as he approached, his steps quickening as he hurried to her side. “Lass, yer mother—”
“No.” Sarah held up a hand before he could reach for her, bewilderment coming to his gaze. “There will be no enduring. I’ve never felt like that with you.” She licked her lips, remembering the many times she had been in Keir’s arms. “Whenever you touch me, I feel… wonderful, and I refuse to believe that—” She paused, suddenly awestruck by her fortune in life to crave the touch of the man she was to marry.
It seemed her mother had never known that feeling, and for the first time in her life, Sarah wondered how her mother had felt as a young woman, finding herself married to a man who had not been her choice.
“Lass?” Keir came to stand in front of her, reaching out a tentative hand to touch her cheek.
Blinking, Sarah lifted her chin, and a smile claimed her face. All of a sudden, everything felt simple.
Determined to reclaim the bond that had always been between them, she met Keir halfway, her hands trailing up his arms, over his shoulders and into his hair as she pressed closer, wanting to feel him. “I’m not worried,” Sarah whispered, loving the way his eyes looked into hers, “and I’m not apprehensive. I’m… perhaps a little nervous.” She chuckled, delighting in the warm glow that came to his face. “Is that all right?”
Keir smiled at her, relief in his gaze as his arms cradled her. “Aye, ’tis all right. Quite frankly, I’m a bit nervous myself.” He leaned in and kissed her. “’Twill be a new life for the both of us.”
Sarah nodded in complete agreement. “That, too, sounds wonderful. A life without fear and regrets and…” She paused, and a heavy sigh drifted from her lips.
The expression upon Keir’s face froze before his brows furrowed. “What is it, lass?”
Able to guess the direction of his thoughts, Sarah smiled up at him. “I do not have any regrets… only perhaps that this place is so very far from England, from London, from…” She bit her lip.
Keir nodded knowingly. “The Whickertons.”
“I received a letter today,” Sarah told him, her mind drifting back to earlier that morning. “From Christina.”
Immediately, Keir tensed, his eyes narrowing in concern.
Offering a smile, Sarah shook her head to dissuade his line of thought. “No, she wrote to tell me that Anne’s baby was born. A little girl.” She exhaled. “I don’t know if I’ll ever meet her. Or Christina’s children. Or…” She shrugged, suddenly feeling homesick.
Indeed, in a perfect world, Sarah saw herself walking through life with Christina and the others by her side, and it filled her with sadness, knowing it to be impossible. Yet Sarah was determined not to dwell upon it, and so she lifted her chin and blinked away her tears. After all, the distance between them was one easily bridged for a visit, at least. “It was the same for Grandma Edie and Lady Adele.”
“Aye, ’twas; and yet they never lost one another, did they?”
Sarah knew his words to be true. Years might have passed since they last saw one another; still, they remained close to this day, never hesitating to answer the other’s call.
“Perhaps we could invite them to visit us here in summer,” Keir suggested, his blue gaze searching her face, “when traveling is easier.”
Sarah nodded eagerly. “That is a wonderful idea.”
“And what of yer family? Yer parents?” His gaze lingered upon her mouth as Sarah began to toy with her bottom lip. “Do ye wish to send word to them?”
Sarah heaved a deep breath, knowing that as her parents, they ought to be at her wedding. And yet they had never acted as such. Searching her heart, Sarah realized she did not need them to come. “I feel no longer burdened by the desire to gain their approval or their affection.” She reached out her hand and touched his face, teasingly tracing the line of his jaw. “I found affection elsewhere.”
A wide grin came to Keir’s face, teasing and endearing at the same time. “Aye, ye did.” Then he stilled, and Sarah could see thoughts circling in his mind.
