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I remember what it was like, being pinned beneath him, helpless under his harnessed weight, overpowered by him but safe in every way. I remember the way he’d give me a look—just alookto let me know I’d crossed a line and delicious punishment would follow.A fixed stare, a tight, cold expression. A raised eyebrow or a subtle shake of his head. The slightest hint of disapproval set my heart to pounding.
But he isn’t flirting with me this time.
Punishment at his hands now wouldn’t electrify my senses and end with my back arching in climax as he wrenched orgasm after orgasm from my body.
No. This time, any discipline he inflicts will be to teach me a lesson.
To remind me that my life is disposable.
No longer mine.
He doesn’t know the truth.
“I do know how you feel,” I say in what I hope is a nonchalant voice. “I know very clearly how you feel about disrespect. I know how you feel about loyalty and trust, too. And I know why I’m here, Lyam. So let’s not waste each other’s time.”
When I turn my face away, he reaches for my chin again. His fingers trace my skin, as if committing it to memory. If he doesn’t feel this electric charge between us, he may not be the animal I just thought of him as, but rather a vampire or zombie, completely devoid of any human feeling at all.
How could someone so cruel burn with such fire?
How could someone who wants to hurt me look like he wants to hold me?
For one fraction of a second—less than one beat of my heart—he looks as if he’s going to kiss me.
He always did love it when I gave him chase.
“Good. I’m glad we’re on the same page.”
I’m holding my breath. Trembling in anticipation, scared of what he’ll do next. Scared of what he won’t.
And then he’s driving. I’m back in my seat, shivering with cold because he moved away.
As he pulls away, I'm left reeling. Pulse racing.
I shouldn't want this—I shouldn't wanthim—but I can't deny the way he pulls me in.
Eventually the ache of his rejection will stop, I tell myself. It has to.
I look out the window and wonder.
How long before he unburies my secrets?
And when he does…
How will I survive?
Fuck the Gerards for ever making me feel wanted and loved.
Fuck their friends, who made me feel like I had a home.
And fuck their enemies who built an insurmountable wall between me and the only people I ever loved.
I know where my loyalty lies now. I know what I need to do.
And as Lyam looks at me with a mix of desire and something deeper, something dangerous and forbidden, he triggers every survival instinct in my body.
Run.
If only I could.
