Still, I fear laying down my defenses and allowing myself to be vulnerable… again.
With food in my belly, a comfortable sofa beneath me, and the warmth of the blanket around me, the adrenaline crash hits me like a freight train. I yawn so widely my eyes water.
“Rest,” he says, sitting beside me. “You’re safe here.”
I close my eyes so he doesn’t see the tears shining in them.
I lean into the comfort of him. Into the comfort of us.
I sigh when he rests his hand on the blanket at the small of my back.
“I don’t know why I’m so tired,” I say on yet another yawn.
“You’re growing a human.”
I wonder if I’ve imagined the note of pride in his voice as I close my heavy eyes.
I will myself to silence the voice inside my head that tells me this isn’t real. But I’m so tired.
I do my best to quiet the fluttering thoughts and fears in my head.
I lean my head against his chest and listen to the steady beat of his heart. My body sinks into sleep.
* * *
NINE
Lyam
Cosette sleeps forhours.
She’s so beautiful when she sleeps.
I sit beside her and ghost the outline of her brows with the tip of my finger. Down the contours of her cheeks and the full pout of her lips. I rest my hand on her back, steadied by the gentle cadence of her breathing.
I’ve never loved any woman. It’s a foreign concept to me and strange to think that Lyam Gerard, player extraordinaire and Gerard family black sheep, has fallen for a woman.
But how could I not?
She’s sunshine and daisies and all things good and wholesome, and I’m… not. She yearns to serve, and I yearn to command.
Now that I know what happened, I know she had good reason. I can’t fault her. Not now.
So when my phone rings and I see it’s Thayer on the line, I pick it up.
I’ll fight him if I have to.
I’ll win.
“Where the fuck are you?”
“You know where I am.”
“Is this phone safe?” Fabien’s voice. Three-way call.
Jesus. “It’s fucking safe.Iwas the one who programmed it. You two pussies can’t make a fucking phone call without the other on the line?” I roll my eyes heavenward. I guess it’ll make things easier for me in the long run.
“Alright, Lyam. What the hell happened?”