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In my world, it’s kill or be killed.
When I was taken against my will and held captive, it was clear as fuck why, and who I was. I knew what they wanted. In this life that I’ve chosen, there are no gray areas, no exceptions.
But now Cosette’s making me question everything.
I change the subject.
“No more about this, Cosette. Not another word.” I tip my finger under her chin so her eyes meet mine. I put steel in my voice. “Did I explain that well enough?”
She closes her eyes and nods. I can tell it takes a lot for her to admit this. When she opens her eyes, the green depths look troubled but hopeful.
“Lyam, I—you know, a part of mehopedyou’d punish me.”
I’m not surprised. I nod. “I get that.”
“Do you really?” she asks curiously.
“I do.” I sit on a chair and bring her onto my lap. It feels so good to have her here, nestled in between my arms, her weight on my lap. I drape my arms around her. “You want to pay your penance. You feel guilty.”
I can see the pain written across her face when she squeezes her eyes shut and nods. “Yes. God,soguilty.”
“I’ve spent a lot of time at Le Luxe. And I’ve noticed that some women like to be fully independent and know their man is their equal. Some like to be taken care of. And then there are some women, like you.” I feel the corners of my lips quirk up. “Strong and fully independent. They like letting their hair down. They like knowing they can put their trust in someone else. They’ll run shit all day long but like knowing that every once in a while, they don’t have to.”
“Yes,” she says eagerly, her wide eyes excited and hopeful. “That’s exactly it. I don’t want to be steamrolled. But it’s nice not having to always be plagued with the thought ofwhat next?”
I hold her against my chest. I savor the warmth of her body and gentle scent of her innocence and purity. How she managed to keep that innocence despite everything she’s been through, I may never know.
“It especially makes sense for someone like you.”
“Like me?”
“Someone who’s wired for service. Sometimes I think you’d run yourself into the ground if I let you.”
“You’re not wrong.”
“I know.”
I run my hand up and down her back. I’ve missed this so much. I wanted her back and never thought I could have her.
And ifI’mthe one being honest now? A part of me wanted to punish her not just for betraying my family but for leavingme.
“Okay, so as much as I love sitting on your lap and talking to you, and most especially knowing that I can make amends for all this? My body has a mind of its own. I’m feeling nauseous again and think I need a bit of a snack.”
“Gonna be a full-time job keeping you fed?”
I love that little smile. The way her eyes light up and her cheeks turn pink. “You know it.”
I hold her to me. A part of me wishes I could freeze this moment in time. Keep her right here where she’s safe. Keep her right here with me so she doesn’t run.
I wanted Cosette before.
Now, knowing she’s carrying my baby? The power of heaven and hell couldn’t drag her away from me. Cosette isminein a way she’s never been mine before.
There are so many things I want to do. So many things I want to say. But right now, we need food.
“Something in particular you want? You said protein earlier. I could—”
“No! Oh, God, no,” she says, covering her mouth with her hands. “Stop! Please. Don’t say another word.”
