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Chloe:
Are you okay?! Fuck. You are killing me, girl. We have to leave but I need to know you’re okay.
Kaya:
I’m okay, Chloe.
Chloe:
Kenno deserves a fucking blowjob after this. He’s such a good guy.
Kaya:
Yes. He is. Dumb but good.
Chloe:
Dumb? You can talk.
Kaya:
I deserve that.
“The fuck are you texting?”
My gaze sweeps over to see Xander scowling at me with the still grace of a predator. So utterly beautiful, too. Freshly washed and clean, the bruising on his face healing with each passing day. I follow his drilling stare to my phone, my fingers braced on the display. He doesn’t trust me.
“Chloe,” I say softly. “Want to see?”
His jaw pulses, his muscles threatening to break through his skin. “No. Yes. I don’t want to have to, but I just nearly threw up when I saw you holding your phone. This isn’t like me. I don’t like how I’m mindlessly in love with you.”
I like it. “My passcode is 3310. You can look at my phone any time you want. No secrets.” It’s the least I can do. I haven’t earned his trust. I’ve destroyed it. If the situation were flipped, I’d be frenzied and anxious, too. “Just know… my world fades to you, Xander. I was going to cancel this today. I was never going to go through with it. And I was too scared of what you would do if I told you, Hothead. After the diagnosi—"
“Don’t.” He stiffens. “Don’t you dare take this from me, Woman. That’s the cruellest thing you could ever do.”
“Take what?”
“I want to fucking protect you!” He stalks towards me, getting close enough for me to feel those flames flaring in his hot veins. “I need to fucking protect you”—his fist hits his chest— “with every beat of my goddamn heart. I would rather die than not protect you.”
My eyes sting. “Okay.” I nod.
We can protect each other.
I don’t say the quiet thought aloud. I finally understand the silent truth of women when it comes to their men. To roles. To needing to be, well, needed. I could bust with pride and demand we share that role or I could let him have it. Knowing in my core, I’ll be his rock. I don’t need to say it. “Be that man in my life.”
His fingers entwine with mine, and we walk from the hotel room. “Let’s get the fuck out of here. I never want to see this hotel again. Stay close.”
CHAPTERTHIRTY-ONE
kaya
They got away.ManXY and his partner. And I didn’t see their faces; voices were contrived, the blur of events now muddled in a sea of anxious thoughts, self-loathing, and regret. Xander is the light at the end of the event. Everything else is cast in shadows.
Why didn’t I get more details?
I tried, didn’t I?
It’s a damn haze.
