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“I don’t need to know,” I murmur as I pan my eyes over the content, bile scorching a path up my throat when I see porn with tabs and ages ranging from newborn to eighteen.
My hands shake. “Kenno.” I sit back, wanting away from the laptop now and the vile site. “Newborns?”
“You have to pay to see it, Kaya,”—He glides the mouse around the pad, the arrow flying across the display— “it’s not just right there. You’re not gonna see anything you don’t want to. And pay a shit ton for.”
“This site needs to be shut down.”
“Yeah.” He nods his head. “It probably does.”
He continues to navigate the site, selecting words and moving through the interface until a digital registration form appears. This is it.
We fill it in, and I try to place my mind on autopilot. Calculated. In control. No one is making me do this. The image of my mum standing by Mac’s car with disapproval painted across her face spurs me on.
Answering the setup questions, I pretend I am the profile avatar—GirlX—not a living, breathing, hymen-potentially-owning person.
Then we get to the payment section. I gaze at Kenno, saying, “Payment? But it’s anonymous, right? How do we do this? Bag of money on a doorstep. A diamond necklace worth the price asked?”
“Bitcoins, Kaya. They’ll pay you in bitcoins.”
“I don’t know anything about that stuff.”
He leans over the keyboard and types a long number into the field. “I’ll have them put the coins in my wallet.”
I arch an eyebrow at him. “As if.”
He looks offended, and taps save. “Hey, I may be a lot of things, but I ain’t gonna steal fucking money from you, Kaya.”
Studying his ape-like face, I see a glimmer of something new, a nice boy within the buffoon.Fair enough.I nod, still unsure, but I want to get this part done. The entire thing, really. We move to the next screen where there is a template for sales relating to different products.
Porn.
Drugs.
Puppies?Weird.
I skim the categories, my gaze landing with a groan onprostitution.Ugh.
I must outwardly sneer because Kenno pipes in with, “It’s the oldest profession in the world. Don’t mock it.”
“Which means, in theory, we placed value onfuckingbefore we did farming. Aren’t we a clever species.” I sigh, my hands trembling, adrenaline moving despite the lack of any present danger.
I got this. It’s just a lot right now, but it’s also nothing. An exchange. I remind myself of that. I’m in control of my body now, while I sell it, and every day after. I say when and who and how and this ismydamn decision.
I click on prostitution.
The questions:
BDMS?
Safe words?
Toy play?
Anal?
All the blood leaves my cheeks. It feels like an ice waterfall cascading down my face. I glance at Kenno, who seems trained to the questions. “Turn the other way, Kenno.”
He laughs. “Yeah,righto.” He turns his back to the computer, leaving me to spill my guts. I swallow—not literally, I hope to God.
