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Maybe you should butt the hell out of my life.“Bonbon is getting quite old, and I would hate to see him live out his final years in my shop. Also, he pisses on the floor. And wants to be held all the time.” Not really Damien’s cup of tea.
“You are one complicatedhombre, D-Man, but okay. It’s a deal.”
They shook hands.
“Where would you like me to start?” he asked.
“I would say start with you, but I already know why you were unaffected by the blast. So start with the demon. Nothing happened to him. Why?”
Damien wanted to ask why his curse hadn’t been affected, but Cimil never did anything for free, including giving information.Always strings. Always.
“Bonbon won’t be of much use,” Damien pointed out. “His faculties aren’t what they used to be.” In fact, some days, Bonbon actually believed he was a Chihuahua. Other days? A race car driver. Damien always had to keep his car keys out of reach.
“If you say so,” replied Cimil skeptically. “Then your first stop will be visiting a woman who claims she was assaulted by a tiny, winged creature. Apparently, it tried to crawl up her privates while she was trying on swimwear at a mall.”
A sex fairy?
Cimil continued, “Go find the woman, and see if she was telling the truth. If yes, maybe you can track down this naughty little winged perv. It could be the key to getting our immortals back.”
He highly doubted that was possible. If what Cimil said was true, that a unicorn and hellhound getting frisky caused a blast that spanned the globe, the energy had to have been immense. A supernatural nuclear bomb. There was no coming back from such a powerful force, in his opinion.
“And Damien?” Cimil added. “You cannot fail. I need my husband back the way he was. He’s far too squishy and human now. It’s all wrong for my spirited lovemaking.”
Her husband was a vampire. Or used to be. “I will do my best.”
“We will be expecting an update in three days. I’ll text you the location along with the details on the fairy sighting. Oh, and if I were you, I’d be nice to MF. She cuts off people’s ears if they twist her panties the wrong way.”
“Excellent,” he said drably. “I’ll go remove the customer comment box now.”
Cimil saluted him, threw an invisible rifle over her shoulder, and marched out.
Moments later, MF entered the workshop, blowing a bubble with her pink gum. “So, you gonna train me or what, Jeeves?”
Damien narrowed his eyes. He could not leave his store in the hands of this poorly dressed savage. Perhaps he could call in a favor from one of his friends to watch the shop for a few days. He knew a few people who at least spoke properly.
“You look like you might have a headache coming on.” He dug a ten out of his billfold and handed MF the money. “Buy some chocolate on the way home. We’ll start in the morning.”
She snatched up the ten. “Naw, I’m good. But I got stuff to do anyway. See ya in the morning.”
She marched out, leaving him perplexed. What could possibly have inspired Cimil to bring this woman of poor breeding to his shop?
“Hey, man. I got nothing from her,” Bonbon said, appearing next to Damien’s perfectly polished wingtips. “She was even rubbing my tummy. Got close to my cock, too. Which, hehe, you know how much I like.”
Damien shook his head. “You are vile.”
But this was very interesting; MF had been unaffected by a love-sucking demon. Perhaps the woman was hiding much more than feelings of insecurity.
