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“That’s not what I said.” He blows out a harsh breath. “Girls want me so they can say they were with Gabriel Wade. They don’t knowme. Hell, I don’t know me half the time. But you do. Today at The Oasis?” He gestures between us. “That was real.” He holds my gaze. “I’ve never had real. But I want it. With you.” Moving into my space, he frames my face with his hands. “Do you want it with me?”
The gritty vulnerability in his voice latches onto my questioning heart. The heat from his touch flares under my skin. The want in his eyes sets off a tremble inside me that tries to buckle my knees.
And I wonder how I’ll survive if I let him into my life and he leaves.
chapter 38
Gabe
“Never got lost in anyone other than yourself.”
~ Meredith Morgan
(played by the award-winning Meredith Wade)
Raising Ryder: Episode111
One second, I’m drowning in my girl’s eyes, the next she’s pressed against the concrete wall across from my car.
Jess shutting down on me? Not what I scripted in my head. In my version, there’d been more kissing, less backing away. I certainly hadn’t planned for the hardcore fist that’s beating the hell out of my chest, throwing punches to something far more fragile than my ego.
The emotions darkening her face remind me of when she told me about her mom. I tug her behind the pillar so we have some false sense of privacy and smooth the lines creasing her forehead like I can smooth away her doubt. “Talk to me.”
“I couldn’t handle it if you bailed without telling me like you did with Kim.” She tips her head down. “If we’re being honest,” her voice drops, “I might not be able to handle it if you do tell me.”
“I wish I could make you understand how different this is than what happened with Kim. If anyone bails, it won’t be me.” I want to kiss Jess crazy, until she wonders why she doubted my feelings. But she’s not like me. Her go-to fix isn’t to get physical. She needs words. “You won’t have to guess about what’s going on with us, I’ll tell you.” A first for me. But I want this girl. And I’m gonna go all out to deserve her. “Give me a chance. Give us a chance.”
She doesn’t move. She barely breathes. The stretched-out silence grows until it feels so brutal I begin to question if Iamworth the risk.
Then she curls her fingers around my biceps and nods.
And that fist smashing my chest quiets right the hell down. I rub my nose along her cheek. “You won’t be sorry.”
“What if you’re sorry?” She grips my collar. “What if I mess up? I’ve never been anyone’s girlfriend.”
My hands wander under her hair to the back of her neck. I bend and brush my lips over her ear. “Want to know a secret about me?”
“I know tons of secrets about you. You hate heights. You have an unnatural obsession with Eminem. You’re a terrible driver.” With each statement, the uncertainty fades from her voice.
“All true.” I laugh, leaning back. “But not where I was going. I’ve never been anyone’s real boyfriend before.”
“Oh.” She sighs and links her arms around my neck.
I comb my fingers through her hair. “Do you really sound disappointed?”
“No.” She softens into me. “It’s just... someone in this relationship should know what they’re doing.”
She is so freaking cute. “Don’t worry, Escalator Girl.” I pull her hair to the side, baring her neck, and press my mouth to her soft skin. “I’ve got the important stuff covered.”
She sucks in a rough breath that gets me instantly high.
“And we’ll improv the hell out of the rest.” I skim my thumbs down both sides of her neck. “Now be a bossy girlfriend, and tell me to kiss you.”
She lifts her face, locks her hands behind my neck, and pulls my head closer. “Kiss me.”
And I do. I kiss her soft. Kiss her sweet. Kiss her into Sunday of next week.
chapter 39
