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Demetrius chuckled. “Of course there’s a plan. It’s just the sort of plan Marcella and I aren’t crazy enough to have shared with anyone. And that plan isn’t trying to screw Sterling or his father. It’s crazy. Not stupid. Crazy in the way you would appreciate.”
He pulled open the door. “It’s time. He’s waiting downstairs, and he’s very impatient.”
Demetrius and Marcellaescorted me to the “conference” room of the motel, which was more or less a double-sized hotel room on the first floor with several stacks of hideous chairs with plastic seats stacked along the walls and a vague air of the desperation that must have permeated any “conference” unfortunate enough to be held out this way.
Garrett and Cerys stood on either side of Sterling. They stepped back when I entered.
Sterling was beaten up, gouged up, and stitched up. I smelled the blood and stitches clinging to him, along with soap. He was in shorts and another t-shirt, and there were a few swipe and bite marks on his exposed calves, and bandages on his shoulder under the thin fabric of the shirt. He stood straight, but with a care that revealed he had damage to his ribs, and his face was scratched deeply with several slashes that would likely scar.
But to Gaia’s wolf-of-silver, they weren’t injuries. They were trophies.
Death is business.
Shame soaked me. Any desire I had to run to Sterling and hold him like I’d planned had turned to mud. I’d put my own feet into cement blocks, time to throw myself to the bottom of the regret ocean.
“Winter,” Sterling said with a mixture of inquiry and command that jerked my soul like wires.
Shame broke my joints. Happiness he was alive, gratitude, hope, and an equal measure of despair he’d been through so much just to have me fail him in the end. I’d failed him. After everything he’d done for us, for me, and I had failed. Again.
I sobbed once, bit my finger, and yanked myself upright with whatever dignity I could muster, because he deserved that much. “You won’t want me any longer, Sterling.”
“What? Why not?” Sterling crossed the distance between us and put his hands on me. I flinched, happy and freezing with shame at the same time. “Winter. There isnothingyou could do.”
“Oh, yes, there is.” Time to get this over with. No wasting time on anything but the business of my failure.
He eyed me. “Tell me.”
“I—I... I betrayed you.” There was no excuse. There was no way to justify it. There were only facts.
Sterling tilted his head a few degrees, expression nonplussed and disbelieving.
I put my hands behind my back and managed to get out my little prepared statement. “The vial we found in Florida. We discovered it’s an ancient relic. The liquid inside can dissolve the bond. But it can alsoforma bond too. I can free you, and then when you find another she-wolf, I will use it to give you a reward you’re worthy of.”
I hadn’t told Demetrius and Marcella that was my plan, and they had the vial, but they didn’t instantly jump to saythe hell you will. We needed test subjects for the vial anyway. Here I was: volunteering.
And Sterling deserved a reward, and that reward wasn’t me.
Sterling still seemed nonplussed. We were clearly having some critical misunderstanding, or he was trying to grapple with working so hard to get rewarded with, well... nothing in the end. I’d never forgive myself, and neither would Gaia, and Sterling deserved so, so,somuch better.Mate that doesn’t fuck aroundwas “bare minimum standard”, along withbathes regularlyandhas a sense of humor.
Finally, Sterling shook his head once. “What are you talking about? I’m confused? Betray me? I still love you. Did you use the vial to dissolve the bond tome?”
“No, no,” I said quickly.
“Wait, are you saying you slept with Searle? Isthatit?”
That wasexactlywhat we were talking about. The details didn’t matter. Cock or tongue, kiss or fucking, heavy petting or a swat on the ass, there was a line, and I’d crossed it because I hadn’t been strong enough to not flop across it, even if I’d picked myself up and gotten on the right side of it.
It was a line you crossed, and you were stained and never clean again.
Blubbering could stay under the surface until I’d crawl away to sob in private when this was over. “Yes.”
Lines formed between his brows. His scent became laced with bewilderment, and something deeply troubled.
Would I still love him so much after the bond was erased? If Cerys and Garrett and Malte (and maybe even my own parents) had taught me, it was that love and bonds weren’t mutually exclusive. Malte might be Cerys’ mate, but Cerys loved Garrett, andGarrettwas the one shewanted, even if Malte was the other half of her soul.
Sterling still didn’t seem to be understanding. Marcella explained it, although her voice didn’t betray her opinions. “You abandoned her. She came into heat.”
Sterling raised both of his hands to cradle my jaw. I flinched and tried to pull away, the anguish turning my spine into a fancy bow. His thumbs stroked my tears across my cheeks. His grip intensified while his body trembled with restraint. I moved my gaze to some point beyond his shoulder. He said, “When I left you in Florida. When we passed in the hallway. That’s the scent I caught.”
