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I may be attracted to Niko, but it is clear as day that he doesn’t feel the same about me and that’s the reason having dinner with him is torture. Truthfully, it’s the reason being around him in general is torture.
“It doesn’t matter,” I mumble, trying to clear my head.
“I wouldn’t have asked if it didn’t. I want to know more about you.”
“For what purpose?”
“Emilia, you and I are going to be together a long time. Don’t you think it would be good to spend that time actually getting to know one another?”
“I guess I keep hoping you’ll give this up,” I answer with a shrug.
“This?” he repeats, his forehead crinkling with confusion.
“This whole marriage thing. It’s clear it’s not what you really want and it’s definitely not what I want.”
He leans back against his chair as he looks at me. I fight the urge to lower my face. That feels as if I’d be showing weakness and I don’t want that. Before he responds, our meals are delivered. I mumble a thank you and wait. I know it’s coming. I really should learn to keep my mouth shut. Still, if he’s planning on going through with this marriage and forcing me to agree, then I might as well speak my mind.
“What makes you think this isn’t what I want?”
“Perhaps because we’ve been engaged for three years, and you haven’t bothered to kiss me once.”
“We’ve kissed,” he challenges.
I don’t bother to hide the fact that his answer makes me roll my eyes. “Don’t treat me like I’m stupid, Niko. The kiss you gave me on my cheek for my sixteenth birthday is not what an engaged couple shares.”
“Are you saying you want me to kiss you?”
“I want a man who wants to marry me. That’s not you. You were still seeing Katherine until last month, Niko, and don’t bother denying it.”
“How do you know that?” he asks. His calm mask slips, letting me see the annoyance on his face.
I’ve struck a nerve. A smart woman would back away and let this drop. I don’t, mostly because I’m desperate to get out of all of this. Being attracted to your husband and trapped in a marriage with him when he doesn’t even look at you as a woman has to be the worst thing imaginable. I don’t want to live that life.
It would kill me.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Tell me, Emilia.”
Shit. Why don’t I think before I open my mouth?
“It doesn’t matter,” I repeat. “The point is that I know it’s true. Are you going to deny it?”
“Dante told you, didn’t he?”
“He mentioned it, but I already knew. Zoe and I saw the two of you at Salsa.”
“You were at Salsa?” he asks surprised.
“Don’t look so surprised, Niko. I do go out from time to time. I don’t have to wait for my fake fiancé to take me places.”
“It would appear that I’ve underestimated you.”
“Most people do. Just because I’m quiet. It doesn’t mean I’m weak.”
“I never thought it did,” he denies.
“Yeah, right,” I laugh, pushing my food around on my plate. I’m really wishing this whole night was over.
