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“I still think it’s stupid.”
“Then, why are you agreeing?”
“Because I figure it didn’t matter. I mean, we’re getting married.”
“We are. That means instead of coming home to a cold bed, I’ll be coming home to you.”
“Is that really what you want?” I ask, needing reassurance.
‘That’s something you don’t have to doubt for a minute, Emilia.”
“I could come over…” I volunteer, biting my lip immediately and wishing I could take the words back.
“You could, but I’m not going to let you.”
I frown. “I thought you wanted…” I stop talking. It sounds weird to add the word me. It makes me sound desperate. I feel that way, but I don’t want to sound it.
“I don’t want you out on the road this late,” he explains, which doesn’t make me feel a lot better.
“Oh.”
“It’s more than that, though.”
“You’re going to have to explain it to me, because I’m confused, Niko.”
“I have more respect for Maxwell than to take his daughter’s virginity without a marriage, sweetheart.”
I hate that I blush, but I do just the same. My only solace is that Niko can’t see it. “You don’tknowthat I’m a virgin,” I mutter, despite my embarrassment.
“You’re right, I don’t. Are you saying you’re not?” The urge to tell him I’m not is so strong that I almost speak the lie. Before he can respond, his laugh stops me. It doesn’t feel as if he’s laughing at me and honestly, I can’t remember ever hearing him laugh, so I don’t mind it. “You’re special. I’m not going to treat you like you’re not.”
“Was Katherine special?”
Shit.
I didn’t mean to ask that. I pinch the bridge of my nose and hold my head down wishing a black hole would appear and swallow me up.
“We’re not going to talk about Katherine, Emilia,” he says, and I can hear the annoyance in his voice.
“Why?”
“Because what I had with her is not what we will have.”
That’s about as vague as vague can get, but I’m not about to embarrass myself more by asking him to clarify. I’ve lost enough dignity.
“Okay,” I respond quietly.
“She’s in my past. I’m sorry I hurt you, Emilia. I never meant for you to find out. That was never my intention, but it’s over and it won’t enter into our future. Do you understand?”
“Yes. It’s fine,” I lie. It’s not fine at all. He didn’t say he’s sorry he slept with her and kept dating her after our engagement. He said he didn’t mean for me to find out. That’s completely different.
“Why does it sound like you’re upset then?” he sighs, letting me know he’s upset with me.
“If I agree to all of this and we go through with the marriage, I won’t have you still seeing other women. That might work for some couples, but it doesn’t work for me. I think it would destroy me.”
“I told you she’s in my past. Still, Katherine’s been good to me—”
“I bet,” I grumble.
