Page 40 of Carnal Vows


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“Do you let every man you know touch you the way I have, Emilia?”

The woman has the audacity to roll her eyes at me. If this wasn’t so important, I’d laugh.

“That’s not a relationship, Niko. That’s physical. A real relationship should mean more—should involve more.”

“What do you know of relationships? You’ve never been in one, sweetheart.”

She jerks in response to my reply. I wait for her to retreat, but instead, I see a fire ignite in her eyes. “Stop treating me like a child. I’m not. I may not know much about your world, but I know mine and any girl would question being in a relationship with a man who her father brokered a deal with to marry her off.Especially,when the man continued to date and sleep with another woman even after becoming engaged.”

“Emilia—”

“It doesn’t help that you seem resistant to do anything more with me than to kiss me and promise more just to get me to sign some stupid document.”

“That’s quite a list you have there. Have you been saving it up to come at me all at once?”

She lets out an annoyed breath. “It’s hard to let things go when you’re told subjects are off topic.”

“What you need to know isnotoff topic.”

“What does that mean?”

“That means, I told you anything to do with Katherine is done. It’s my past. You’re my future. You need to trust that I mean what I say and let it the fuck go.”

“There’s no need to get upset. I’m just being honest. Maybe it would be easier to let it thefuckgo if my fiancé didn’t seem so reluctant to share a bed with me.”

“Is that what all this boils down to? Didn’t I show you proof of how aroused you make me?”

Her cheeks fill with color, and I know immediately she’s thinking about that day in her father’s office. It’s a memory I also keep recalling—and jacking off to.

“Getting aroused is kind of normal for any guy, right? It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Emilia, I’m trying to remind myself that you’re young and used to dealing with boys—of which I’m not. I control my body, not the other way around. A man can see and appreciate a woman. It doesn’t make him desperate to have her or hard as a rock. Do you think what you felt that day is normal? Would you have felt the same way if it was another man?”

“That’s neither here nor there. There is no other man in my life. You, on the other hand, have Katherine.”

“And I said that was over, but if you’re going to keep harping on it, I will make itcrystalclear. I could have done the same things to her that I did to your body, and I would have gotten hard. I would have fucked her. Is that what you want to hear?”

She blanches with my words. I can literally see the color leaving her face. She recoils away from me. She pulls back as if I physically hurt her. I could be going at this the wrong way.Hell, I probably am.I don’t have experience dealing with innocents and that’s exactly what Emilia is. Still, I need to get this point across now because I won’t have this discussion again.

“It’s n-nothing I didn’t already know,” she admits bravely, but her words are faltered, and I can tell she’s hurt. It shouldn’t bother me. She opened this can of worms after all. Still, it does.

I lean over to cup the side of her neck and use my thumb to raise her head, so we have eye contact. “There’s a difference between being turned on and starving for a woman, sweetheart. I’m starving for you. What we will build together will matter. That means I will protect it—protect you.You know this family. You know I have blood on my hands. I’m not changing that. I am who I am. One thing I’m not is a man who takes something or someone that is special and breaks a vow. I promised you my past is my past and once we came to an understanding, that part of my life was over. You’re my future. You’re either going to have to choose to trust me or keep your doubts to yourself because there are two things here that are not going to change.”

“What two things?” she asks.

“I’m not going to another woman, not when I know you’re in my bed.”

“What’s the second?”

“I’m not letting you go. I’m going to claim your innocence. I’m going to fuck you hard and fuck you often. That sweet pussy of yours is going to be shaped for only me.”

“Niko…” I watch as the breath shudders through her.

I wasn’t joking. I’m not going to take her before the wedding. I’m an asshole who has been more than hardened by life. I don’t know how to be gentle with Emilia, but I will honor her. Which means, she’s going to be a virgin on our wedding night.

“Stand up, Emilia.”

“What?” she asks.

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