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“You’re awake,” I say again. My brain and heart are racing, but I can’t get anything else to come out of my mouth.
He looks confused. “Yeah, I am.”
“You’re actually awake.”
“Em,” he says, his voice raw and strained.
“Niko, I don’t want to hurt you—”
“What do you—”
I cut him off. “But if you’re not a figment my imagination has drummed up because I’ve finally broken with reality, I’m not sure I can stop myself from climbing up in that bed with you. I need your arms around me.” All the aches, all the wishing, hoping, and despair has my lungs burning.
He takes a shuddering breath as his arms slowly lift. “Come here, sweetheart.”
I sprint over to him, climbing up in the bed without a thought and curling into him immediately. His arms settle against my body and that breaks me. I can’t hold it together anymore. I start sobbing, uncontrollably. Instead of pain, it’s relief. I feel him. I press my lips to his chest, knowing I’m drenching his hospital gown in tears.
“You’ve come back to me. You’ve come back to me,” I sob, as I look up at him. I can barely see him through my tears. My arms are wrapped around him, but I’m afraid to hold him as tightly as I want to. “You have to stay. You won’t go away, will you?” My lip starts to tremble again. The thought of going through this twice. I can’t take it.
“Go away?” he asks, his forehead creasing with confusion.
“You can’t go to sleep again. You can’t leave me again, Niko.”
“The doctor checked on me while you were gone,” he says, around dry coughs. “I’ll be okay.”
“You promise?” my voice cracks. I couldn’t live through this again.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“I love you, Niko.” I tell him, trying to wipe my eyes to stare into his eyes but I can’t get a grip.He’s here.He’s actually here, not just in body. He’s awake and talking to me. I’m looking into the eyes I never thought I would see again.I’m not dreaming.I won’t wake up to the heartache of missing him anymore. I won’t have to go through what I’ve gone through today alone. Niko’s holding me—actually holding me.
“What?” he rasps out. He looks at me in shock.
“I love you,” I tell him, leaning up to kiss him, wanting to relish it, but cutting it short because I’m afraid to hurt him. I settle back down against his body, as he strokes my hair. “I’m never letting you go again.”
CHAPTER42
Niko
I’ve been waving away the medical staff all night, not wanting to disturb Emilia who’s asleep in my arms. I’m doing my best to push away my grief and concentrating on the fact that I’m awake, I’m here, and Emilia is in my arms.She loves me.
More than that, she needs me right now. I’m fucking going to be here, too. Slowly, things I heard while lost in the darkness come back to me and the one thing that sticks in my mind is hearing I was going to lose Emilia. After watching her interaction with Victorio last night, I felt a jealousy so pure that if I had been able, I would have killed the man last night. That’s slowly left me with Emilia professing her love and being in my arms all night.
I’m never leaving her. Victorio will have to move on.
I turn as I hear footsteps, my gaze locking on DeLuca walking through the door. He freezes when he sees me, and he grins. I try to return the smile, but I don’t think I succeed. I’m weak. Weaker than a damn kitten and my mind is a jumbled mess. The only thing keeping me together is having Emilia in my arms.
“I see my message got through to you,” Antonio says.
“Everything is a blur, but I heard parts of what was said,” I tell him, unable to help the frown on my face.
Antonio nods, stretching out in the chair by the bed. He looks like he doesn’t have a care in the world right now with his legs spread and arm draped over the back. I wish I could be like that. Right now, I can’t remember how it ever felt.
“Do you know what has happened since you’ve been out?” he asks, carefully.
“You mean do I know Maxwell was killed?” I ask, grimly.
“Yeah,” he sighs, scratching his beard.
