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Slowly he relaxes into me, his forehead resting heavily against mine. His arms wrap around me, and he takes a shuddering breath that seems to be pulled from his soul. “This side of my life shouldn’t touch you.”
“It’sourlife.This world is a part of you, and I wantallof you Niko. Not just the parts you think are safe for me to see.”
He slowly lifts his head to look at me. “I miss him so fucking much, Em.”
I look into the eyes of my husband and wonder how I missed just how deeply he was suffering. I know he’s been doing his best to help me, and I feel guilty that I didn’t notice his pain was this intense. I can see the tears he refuses to shed in the corner of his eyes, and it hurts.
“I know, baby. I know.”
“I just thought if I could make Dante pay, it would make me feel better, but nothing has changed. I still mad as hell. It’s burning inside of me,” he admits, sounding haunted. “Nothing helps.”
“I know,” I repeat. I honestly don’t know what else to say. I know how he feels. I’m sadly all too aware that there are no magic words to help. So, I just hold him close, wanting him to know I’m here. I press my lips against his temple, then whisper the words again in his ear. “I know.”
His body shudders against me as he tightens his hold. “I miss him, Em. God, I miss him.”
His voice is thick, and I hear his tears. When I pull back to look at him, I watch as they fall slowly down his beautiful face. He’s not sobbing like I have so many times that I’ve lost count. His tears are like a small trickle of pain coming from one of the strongest people I’ve ever known andthatmakes it so much more painful to see.
I know that Niko has never let anyone see him vulnerable. His guards are completely down and as heartbreaking as it is, I recognize that it’s a gift that he’s giving me. I bend down and press my lips against the salty evidence of his grief.
“I miss him…” he says again.
“I do, too, sweetheart,” I admit, doing my best to comfort him.
“I should be strong for you,” he exhales.
“You’re the strongest man I know, Niko.”
“You lost your father and you’re comforting me. How is that being strong, Em?”
“We both loved him, Niko. He loved you like a son. He knew what a good man you were. He trusted you more than he had ever trusted anyone. If he hadn’t, he would have never wanted us together. My father knew before me, but I see it now.”
“See what?”
“You are my home, Niko. My future. We’re a team. We hold each other up. That’s what marriage is all about. That’s what my parents had, and it is exactly what I told my father I wanted. He just made sure I’d have it.”
“Maxwell told me he thought we could heal one another. I thought he was just being fanciful.”
“My father was never a fanciful man. He was more pragmatic. In this, I think he was mostly right, though.”
“Mostly?” Niko questions, looking at me surprised. I take heart that his tears have stopped.
“I think both of us might always be a little broken,” I reason, as I lift my shirt over my head. “That’s why we’re perfect for one another.”
“What are you doing?” he asks as I throw my shirt over his shoulder, briefly hoping that’s far enough away from the blood dotting the floor.
“Reminding us that we’re both still alive, Niko. I think we need that.” I unlatch my bra and toss it in same general vicinity.
“Emilia, you don’t want to do this here. You shouldn’t even have to see any of this. I don’t want my filth to touch you.”
“That’s too bad, Niko, because I definitely want you to touch me all over.
I slide off his lap to stand in front of him. I keep my heels on, but I reach behind me and undo my skirt, letting it pool at my feet. I know it’s probably not safe from the evidence of the torture my husband inflicted on Dante, but I can always buy a new skirt. I may never get another chance to prove to my husband that I love him—all of him—and that I accept him as he is. I don’t want him blocking me out of any part of his life.
Even if it’s to protect me.
“My father used to tell me that men called you the devil,” I tell him, once I’ m completely naked.
His eyes nearly burn my skin, his stare is so intense. “He told you that,” he asks, his voice hoarse.
