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Only he didn’t move, and after she set the two plates down on the table, neither did she.
They stared at one another.
He took one step closer to her.
She took one step closer to him.
It went on like that until they stood face to face, their toes almost touching.
“I’m sorry about yesterday,” she said, looking down at the floor. “You’ll have to give my apologies to Regina when you see her, as well.”
Julian cupped her chin and raised her face so he could look into her eyes. “I haven’t seen Regina in four years, and I’ve had no desire to see her since.”
“Oh. Okay. Still . . . I’m sorry.”
“For what exactly?”
She winced. “For making a ruckus and making what you had with her sound so . . . sordid.”
He laughed bitterly. “I slept with her for money. If that’s not sordid, it’s damn close.”
“But you didn’t sleep with her for the money, did you? Because it’s never been about the money for you, not for a long time, and maybe even never.”
He released her and took a step back, stunned by her perceptiveness and the faint challenge in her eyes. “Why do you say that?”
She shrugged one shoulder. “Just a theory.”
He clenched his jaw. “Well, regardless of your theory, Ihaveslept with plenty of women for money,” he said.
“Okay, but I’m still sorry about what I said last night. I had no right to judge her . . . or you.”
What game was she playing? But as he looked at her, he didn’t see anything but raw honesty and shame in her expression. It pierced something inside him, and suddenly, he couldn’t help but be honest with her, too.
“You’re right,” he said, “and I have no right to want you as much as I do, either.”
She sucked in a breath, but instead of taking a step back like he had, she took a step forward, erasing that small distance he’d created between them. “Do you wantme?Reallywant me? As more than a task to check off? A mystery to solve? Another client or charity case or woman you need to save?”
He jerked at her last question. Wasthatwhat she thought of the clients he took on? That he was trying to save them? A familiar face flashed before his eyes, and his mind recoiled. No. It couldn’t be about that. Abouther. Because if it was, his entire life was a joke, proof positive that he wasn’t a man but still a kid trying to outrun his past.
It would have been easy to withdraw from her then. Instead, he ruthlessly shoved past the dregs of his past and focused on the questions she’d asked instead. He cupped her face with both hands, caressing her cheek with his thumb, and nodded. “Yes, I really want you. I’m sorry if that scares you.”
She frowned. “You don’t scare me.”
“So it’s the physical act of sex that scares you?” he asked, no trace of sarcasm in his voice. It was a completely serious question.
She bit her lip and shook her head before saying, “The sex act doesn’t scare me.”
Again, she spoke with honesty in her voice. Either he had lost his ability to detect when someone was lying to him—something that had been an innate skill most of his life—or she really believed what she was saying. “Then what does?”
She hesitated, either giving the question a great deal of thought or gathering the courage to answer. Finally, in barely a whisper, she said, “Me. I scare me.”
He pushed back her hair and tangled the fingers of one hand at the base of her neck like he’d wanted to do since he walked in. “I don’t understand,” he said.
“I know,” she said, echoing what she’d said in the car after he’d told her he didn’t know if he could force her to come. And just like then, she left it at that.
Until . . .
“Julian?” she said.
