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“Let me tell you what I think,” he said. “I think Rex was an entitled, empty-headed moron. I think despite being upfront about your inability to orgasm, he only wanted you more after that because you were a challenge. I think when he failed to meet that challenge, you’re right, he became obsessed with making you come, but not for you, for his own fucking ego. I think as more time went by without you coming, it ate him fucking alive until, out of desperation, he convinced himself that your inability to come could work to his advantage, so he brought you to the Masquerade Party, certain no man could do what he’d tried to do for so long.
“I think when you broke up with him, he let you walk away without a fight because he’d finally accepted he’d never satisfy you and, quite frankly, didn’t want to try anymore. But most of all, Skylar, I think that’s why you picked Rex from the very start. Because you knew, no matter what he did, there was no chance he would ever make you come. And that’s exactly how you wanted it.”
34
At Julian’s blatant accusation, Skylar’s mouth dropped open. Her eyes widened in outrage. When she shot to her feet this time, she looked like she wanted to kick Julian in the face. “You’re wrong! Why would I stay with a man when I knew not only that he couldn’t make me come but that he’d eventually punish me for it?”
Slowly, Julian climbed to his feet. The waves crashed against the river shore, and distant cars rushed along the freeway as she stared at him, hiding her true self behind her outrage.
He didn’t respond.
It was the oldest journalism technique in the world.
Well-timed, deliberate periods of silence, especially when someone was feeling under pressure, often caused him or her to reveal the most about themselves.
“You really are an arrogant asshole,” Skylar finally said.
He almost laughed at the strength of her will. Maybe he should ask Regina to join them. She’d certainly been good at getting Skylar to tell it like it was.
“You really think you’ve got everyone figured out, don’t you?” she demanded, jabbing the air with her finger, looking like she wanted to jab that finger into his chest but at the same time didn’t want to get that close to him. “You really think that the famous, hellinfamous, Julian Bauer is a mind reader? You really think that you can unlock a woman’s mind as easily as her bra strap? You honestly think that, don’t you? Well, you’re wrong! I want to come as much as any woman in the world!”
She turned her back on him, holding herself stiff as she stared into the half-frozen river flow.
For what felt like ages, they stood silent. Finally, accepting that she wasn’t going to reveal anything else, he walked up to her, put his arms around her waist, and tugged her close. Skylar remained stiff for a while, then sighed. He rested his chin on the top of her head and then quietly said, “I know you want to come, Skylar. I just don’t know why you won’t let yourself.” She didn’t respond, and he didn’t push it. Finally, he dropped his hands only to take her shoulders and gently turn her toward him. “But the ‘why’ doesn’t matter anymore. I’m done pushing for answers you don’t want to give me or maybe don’t even know the answer to. You asked something of me, and I promised I’d give it to you if you took the time to think about it and make sure it was what you really wanted. The question is, do you still want it?”
She spoke without hesitation. “Yes.”
“Okay. Then let me ask you one more question. And it has nothing to do with Rex or what you didn’t want,” he said quickly when she stiffened again. “Only whatyouwant.”
She frowned and then cautiously nodded. “Ask.”
“The men in your past tried. I’ve tried. What did youwantto try?”
Confusion flitted over her expression. “What do you mean?” she asked.
For once in his life, he struggled for the right words. “Are there things you’ve wanted to try that you never have? Positions, toys, role plays, drugs even. What are your desires? Your fantasies? The things you fear are a little too naughty? What haven’t you tried that deep down you want to?”
She blinked. Rather than responding right away, she stared at her cold hands for answers. Finally, she said, “Honestly, I don’t . . . I don’t know. I mean, I think of things, of course. Flashes of things that arouse me. Like when you mentioned the handcuffs . . . ” A flush charged up her neck and to her cheeks. “But that confuses me because sometimes I think it’s the feeling of not being in control that I resist. So it wouldn’t make sense for me to want to be cuffed or tied.”
“I can see why you’d think that. But have you considered thatwhen it’s done right, when a woman submits to a man—whether by being topped or handcuffed or tied to a bed or anything else, she’s the one who’smostin control of what’s happening?”
She frowned and turned to face him. “I think as much as you want to believe what you’re saying, Julian, you can’t see beyond your well intentions. If submission is truly about exercising control, why is it always the women who are submitting?”
She made a fair point, Julian thought, and he told her so. “I think the distinction is primitive. And I know it’s not P.C., and I fully admit that as an evolved species, we can move beyond the primitive. But as for our instincts . . . Men have been programmed to protect. To care for their partners. And commanding a woman’s pleasure, having her surrender herself completely into his care gives a man that. Just as for many women, submission feels right. That’s not to say a woman can’t be a true dominant, just like I’m not saying a man can’t be a full submissive, which, again, is not the same thing as giving up control. I think most people have both in them. I have no problem being submissive if that’s what a woman needs from me.”
“By women, you mean your clients,” she said, looking away.
“No, Skylar, I meanwomen. I’m no saint, we both already know that, but I’ve slept with more women who haven’t been my clients than women who have been. My escorting was a big part of my life for a long time, but it wasn’t the only part, and it’s certainly not the major part anymore. It hasn’t been for a long time.” Though admittedly, it had always acted as a guidebook of sorts.
“Okay,” she said. “I believe you. About that, at least.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning, I can’t believe you’d ever give up total control even if doing so is totally under your control. Lord, did that even make sense? I’m getting so turned around here.”
Julian chuckled. “It made perfect sense, princess. And I’d be happy to prove you wrong.”
“How?”
