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Marcus was staring at his coffee cup now like he was trying to shoot lasers at it with his eyes. “Does it sound that preposterous? Me wanting to love someone? Or someone being able to love me?”
Yes!Julian thought. It did. Marcus had sex with women for money, just like Julian. He’d always seemed content with his life. Accepting the fact that, also like Julian, he wasn’t meant to be in love or be loved by one woman.
“You really believe I—you—wouldn’t be able to give up escorting for the right woman?”
Skylar, he thought. The woman with so many facets. He hadn’t even begun to explore all the things that made her who she was. Finally, Julian said, “I—I don’t think it’s possible for me, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be for you,” Julian said. “If that’s what you want, then go get it.”
Marcus’s mouth twisted. “It’s not that easy, though, is it?”
Once again, he thought of Skylar. How even if he could get past his own bullshit, she’d never be able to get past it without it coming between them someday.
“No,” he said. “It isn’t.”
* * *
After brunch with Mark,Julian headed to lunch with Elena. The woman was a scintillating conversationalist and an outrageous flirt. She was also just as hot and sexy as she’d been back when he’d been fucking her regularly.
More than one person cast their gaze over to their table in the tearoom at the Plaza. More than one man slid their gaze up and down Elena, taking in the swell of her breasts as she leaned forward and seductively slid a strawberry into Julian’s mouth. Just as more than one woman looked Julian up and down with desire in her eyes.
Eventually, lunch was over, and Julian and Elena were in the elevator heading toward Elena’s floor. When they entered her suite, Julian poured himself a drink from the bar in the bedroom.
Elena, on the other hand, didn’t waste any time.
She walked over to the bed, kicked off her heels, and looked over her shoulder at him, an expectant look on her face. “Unzip me, darling?”
“Of course, beautiful,” he responded, coming up behind her. She wore a frosty silver form-fitting dress with a long gold zipper down the back. He unzipped the dress down to her hips, then slid one shoulder off, placing a light kiss at her bra strap, then repeated the action for the other side.
“Mmm, that feels so good,” Elena said, rolling her head to one side so he could kiss her neck.
She smelled good. Tasted good. Felt good.
So when she turned around, nudging the dress so it fell to the floor, and reached for his belt, Julian caught her wrists in his. “What’s the rush, darling? Take off your bra and panties for me. Now.”
41
It had been two days since she’d blown Julian at the strip club and then spent the night in his arms. She thought about what had happened immediately after.
When she’d woken the next morning, her internal clock doing its job like always, she’d been tempted to say the hell with it and call in sick again, but then she’d remembered he had to get an early start, too. She soaked him in, admiring how even in sleep, he didn’t give the appearance of being younger or more vulnerable. That wouldn’t do for Julian-the-sex-god-Bauer. God forbid. No, he’d emit masculine edginess and arrogance even when he was off in la-la land— that was how magnetic and sexual he was.
With a sigh, she’d kissed him on the cheek before she’d quietly slipped out of his penthouse to return to her own apartment. She’d showered and changed and made it to work in time to make her first meeting. Throughout the day, she’d indulged in memories of their pizza picnic, the strip club, the ice cream they’d shared on his couch, and how he’d curled up around her and held her all night long as she slept. She’d had the most intense, sensual, fun, frightening, relaxing, and magical day and night with him— and yes, she was well aware that with Julian, she’d probably always experience that complicated and contradictory rush of emotions. She was okay with that because it kept her on her toes and was as far from boring as one could get. Of course, she could have done without the phone call from Holly, but she’d had an epiphany sometime during the night— she couldn’t have Julian’s present without accepting his past.
He’d been so vulnerable the night before, sharing that he’d been in the foster system. Even though he hadn’t told her more, she’d heard the pain in his voice when he talked about losing his parents and losing contact with his foster siblings. There was so much to Julian’s past that made him who he was, and probably the least of it was his time as an escort.
Oh, she hadn’t deluded herself into thinking any of that meant she and Julian had a future. She knew what they were and what they could have, and it was limited. Very limited. Still, their time together had opened something inside her, and she was looking forward to whatever came next, even if it was just sexual and even though it would most assuredly be temporary. If all they shared was one day or night of sex, she knew Julian would take care with her.
So she’d called him and left him a voicemail asking if she could see him that night.
And he’d blown her off.
Maybe he had to leave quickly to cover a story in a remote part of the world.
Maybe him being MIA has nothing to do with you, Skylar.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
She’d considered all themaybes, but in the end, she had to face reality.
What she’d experienced with Julian hadn’t meant anything to him, and even if he did somehow crawl out of the woodwork to fulfill his sexual promises to her, she was no longer sure she wanted him to.
