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He thought she needed to cede control to him, but there were ways to do that where she could still be the one in charge. She could test her limits. Explore. Command him to do things from her fantasies that, for some reason, she’d never revealed to Rex. And she could do it all knowing she’d be safe. The pamphlet Rex had shown her had a universal safe word—if ever a guest felt they needed to stop any activity, all they had to say was “Aphrodite.” Not that she could imagine any woman saying that word with Jay around.
Jay began to circle her, like a panther circling his prey. Taking his time. Sweeping his gaze over every part of her. Finally, when she was about to scream for him to touch her, he stopped in front of her. His gold mask picked up the gold of his green eyes as he once again assessed her from head to toe and back up. The casualness with which his gaze skimmed her, as if he was window shopping for a coffee table, filled her with irritation.
She wasn’t an object; she was a woman.
A smart, successful, multi-faceted woman, regardless of the fact that Rex wanted to reduce her to a task that needed to be checked off his list.
Earlier, at that moment when she and Jay first connected gazes, she could have sworn an eternity of knowing had passed between them. And yet now, he was simply sizing her up, an emptiness in his eyes. Skylar gritted her teeth to keep quiet.
Jay smiled tauntingly. “Something wrong?” he asked sweetly, even as his eyes pinned her with a feral, primitive look that told her he was feeling anything but sweetness toward her.
“You’re staring.”
“You’re gorgeous.”
She kept her chin raised. “I’m not a floral display. Or a Renoir at the museum. Or a peacock at the zoo. And yet you keep staring.” Why was it that unnerved her? Was it because the look in Jay’s eyes was something she hadn’t seen in quite some time in Rex’s eyes? Or was it because she wanted that first moment back—that moment when she’d felt alive under Jay’s piercing gaze. The moment she’d felt like a woman . . . not like a piece of meat.
“Good. Because the male peacocks are the gorgeous ones. The females . . . ” He shrugged. “Not so much.” He cocked his head, still wearing his irritating grin. “Are you displeased that I’m enjoying looking at you, princess? That I’m appreciating your beauty? Do you want me tonottell you how beautiful you are before we fuck?”
6
Do you want me tonottell you how beautiful you are before we fuck?
At Jay’s question, Skylar stiffened. Rex had always made a point of telling her how beautiful she was before they had sex.Do you know how beautiful you are? Skylar, dear, I’ve never seen a woman more beautiful.Those words, spoken by Rex, had long ago grown hollow.
And yet a part of her wished to hear Jay tell her he found her beautiful.
I’m here for Rex. For us.
“You could stop looking at me,” she offered.
“No. I couldn’t. I can’t. I won’t.”
“That’s frustrating,” she ground out under her breath.
“Hmm . . . me looking at you is frustrating for you? What else is? Do you want me to kiss you? Is that why you’re frustrated? That I haven’t kissed you yet?” Jay’s hand went to his hip, the gesture the epitome of cocky. And yet he hadn’t taken a step toward her. Now, he stared at her mouth as if memorizing the curve of her lips.
Rex was always tender when he kissed her. He would cradle the back of her neck and gently brush the hair from her face. His lips would press against hers, soft as a feather a first and then harder.You kiss like a dream, Skylar. Your lips are so soft, darling. You take my breath away.Rex always made all the right moves.
Rex was reassuring.
Rex was predictable.
I’m angry. So angry.
She was shocked that the thought had come into her mind. And yet it was true— anger surged through her, almost taking her breath away. Anger at the man standing calmly in front of her with his perfect olive skin and tousled light brown hair. Anger that the arousal she’d felt so keenly earlier had all but slipped away. Because why, though? Because he kept staring at her? Because he’d inferred she was beautiful? Because he’d offered to kiss her?
Or because shewantedto be kissed and told she was beautiful by this man in particular?
Yes. And also . . . to her surprise, she realized she was also angry at Rex. So very angry that he’d pushed so hard to make her come. Angry that as much as she’d just told herself she was a complete and whole woman, Rex had made her doubt it.
A partial woman.
Less than.
Simply because she couldn’t orgasm.
Yes, she wanted to know what it was like to orgasm. But she’d never felt defective because she couldn’t achieve the Big O. Rex had instilled that in her. That feeling of defectiveness, of being a failure as a woman, all of it had come from Rex. And this man . . . somehow her visceral reactions to Jay had shown her in black and white what it was Rex had done.
